Welcome to the Board, Jeff!

[EyeoftheWild]

Jeff, I had not seen your name on the board before so I read your first post. My experience echos yours remarkably, beginning with the left index finger. You state very cleary and precisely about your fear, and subsequent coming to terms with BFS. Good to have back on the board, I trust you are continuing to do well.

Sharon, you have posted almost 3 times-a-day since you joined the board and you are still having difficulty coming to grips with your fear. I wish I could formulate the right words, that I might bring you relief. I wish I could give you permission to allow yourself to "feel good."

You have a big heart, of that much I'm sure. Your giving to others on this board is evident, now why don't you give back to yourself for a bit. Selfishly allow yourself to "enjoy" a portion of your day. Value yourself as the special, awesome, intelligent person that you are. I mean this!! Believe in the grace that has made you join your life with someone and from that have produced another awesome life force.

Maybe you feel you can't because you have all these symptoms, and feel new ones on an almost daily basis. Jeff and I are living, and I mean LIVING proof that you can carry on, that you can enjoy your life while continuing to twitch, twitch, twitch.

I am not a phychiatrist but I think you need to let go of the past. We all do. Remember the good stuff, but the past is the past, it doesn't exist anymore. The future hasn't happened and we only have the delicious present in which to exist.

Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are beautiful, a miracle of energy, of spirit. Cry if you want to, the whole board will cry with you. Then laugh, right from your lower abdomen, feel the collective joy of the board laughing right along with you. If strangers, who will never meet you, can believe in your wellness, in your beauty then so can you.

If you think I'm dishing out advice I have no right to, just let me know. I am motivated by a desire to help, but I have broad shoulders, and it wouldn't be the first time that I was way off-base.

Sharon, I have made a personal investment in your well-being and for that reason I will not leave this board. I will continue to be here to listen and offer what I can, as will so many other beautiful people on this forum we call Aboutbfs.com.

You know we are here for you, but you must also now grab the bull and wrestle it to the ground. You have the strength of spirit to do this. Do you know the movie the Prince of Egypt? There is a great pop song titled "There can be miracles if you Believe." I believe it, do you?

Cheers,
Basso

 

[totaltwirls]

Thanks Basso. Your posts always lighten up my day. You are not off base and I only wish I could get there and am trying. I am considering perhaps professional help to get past the fear. Each night I go to bed and think tomorrow is going to be a new day and I'm going to make a new start, then something like this happens to throw me off. I so wish I could be like you and dance around the house (naked if the kids aren't around as you have said earlier). I don't think I am afraid of the sinister disease anymore, but what has concerned me is Parkinson's. I know I am being silly, but when my neuro indicated that was the one disease these tests would not be able to detect and we would just have to watch the tremors and shaking, I guess I just can't get that part out of my head - especially lately with the new symptoms. I don't get the numbness or buzzing like at first, but now I have the facial tremor when I smile and now the new digit twitch in my other hand and both of my wrists twitch to where they make my hands jerk.

I reallllllly want to move on and in an earlier post I thought perhaps I shouldn't try and post to help others until I can get myself in a good place.

I accept all the enthusiasm, encouragement AND "lashings" that you have to give, as I know every word that you write comes straight from your heart and I very much appreciate that.

Thanks to everyone for your responses!!!

 

[EyeoftheWild]

Sharon,

You are very kind, and great person to be able to lay yourself bare , your emotions I mean, in front of a group of electronic friends. I am so full of emotion these days that I find it hard to constrain that which I want to say. (I was going to say, "that which wants to burst forth," but that didn't sound quite right. ) I am so eager for my friends on this board to feel well, to see in themselves what seems so transparent to me, that I believe I may be losing my objectivity. (My mind having been lost a long time ago.) Once passions are riled they are like young stallions (this similie is for Ginny) they want to just run.

Thankyou again Sharon for taking what I said in the way I intended. I try not to overstep my bounds but it's those darn horses..............

Cheers,
Basso