my 'speech difficulties' were totally anxiety-related. i even remember one day (about 10 months ago) convincing myself that i was losing my ability to say "L" words. then, i popped an Ativan, and an hour later I could suddenly speak normal again. This was a clue to me that I needed to stop letting my anxiety run away with itself.
other tongue symptoms I have had - burning, pain, twitching, buzzing, heaviness. some symptoms BFS related, some pure anxiety. it seems to me that anxiety and BFS do similar things to the body - they both 'over-charge' your nervous system.
you asked, "if this is anxiety, how do i control it?" my advice is an anti-anxiety med like Lexapro, a healthy diet, an exercise regimen, and a support group (which you have here).
oh, and for TMJ, yes I have had this since i was a kid - and acknowledged by my dentist