Reuniting With Old Friends: Undergoing an Odyssey

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InvisibleItches

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Hi Guys, Old Friends, New Members,My odyssey started about 3 years ago, with an eye twitch. The days of twitching -- 1st time in my life -- led to a Google search. The goole search led to DREAD and FEAR of my impending DOOM. I was convinced my days were numbered. I went to my local doctor, she didn't know much about the subject, and she sent me to an eye doctor. My eyes were fine, great vision, no problems. Still, I was twitching and now I was getting some buzzing in my back and some tingles in my toes. I was in full freak out mode. It ruined my quality of life. It ruined a few of my relationships. It ruined my last quarter of college and my GPA. It was a huge speedbump in a life that had been full of a laid-back-happy-to-be-alive-go-with-the-flow approach for the previous 24 years. Still twitching and tingling, I went to a well known Neuro in my town, he did some tests, and said it wasn't MS or a NMD and that he normally can tell the moment someone walks in. Yet, he didn't tell me what was going on with my symptoms and why they were happening. Then I found this great Forum and my early posts, and in all honesty, the entirety of my posts during my 1st full year here was full of anxious dread and thoughts. I was convinced that I was sick -- although I was still physically fit enough to workout, play basketball and soccer, go for hikes, run and jump, etc. I then went to another Neuro in my town, and she even gave me an EMG on the left side of my body -- legs and arms. I was "OK," she said, and I, "really have to believe this diagnosis," she said. She said that "The EMG would be able to tell even if I had something wrong in the near future, of which she said I did not, it was not ALS," she said. I was relieved temporarily. Then I read about ALS mouth symptoms, etc. Then I had trouble swallowing, speaking, my tongue would tingle, I examined it night and day, one side looked to have dents, it hangs to one side more than the other, the TIP OF MY TONGUE has a divot that doesn't/didn't seem normal. I was in a new town now, and sought out a new NEURO and a TONGUE EMG. I had the tongue EMG and the man said "I WAS OK." Yet, I didn't believe him because I couldn't see the machine when he gave me the test and I thought he may be lying to me.A year passed and I lived with the twitches, tingles, hot spots, cramps, etc., everyday. Yet, slowly, I started to believe I WAS OK! That, after almost 2 years, I'm still standing and this must not be anything serious. I landed a great job, a great girlfriend, we traveled the world, and I was....HAPPY AGAIN! It was unbelievable. Yet, as my post history will show, I still stopped by at least every 2-3 weeks during that time, with NEW CONCERNS. New symptoms that I was dealing with more rationally, but still fearful of my original FEAR. I want to tell all the new members of AboutBFS that, after 3 years, I am still healthy and I am still standing. There were times when I was convinced of my doom. I ruined some relationships and I wasn't myself. I had the hardest year of my life, all because of a FEAR. It was a dark place, but I made it through. I look back on that dark place sometimes and instead of regret it, I value it, because it taught me a lot about myself. If you are going through a dark place now, just know that in the long run, it will make you better -- as long as you can find a way to live with this, with this BFS and these fears.As I type this, I am having my greatest fears in months. My TONGUE is twitching like it has never twitched before -- for me, tongue twitches have always come fleetingly, and are one of my rarest twitches -- I have never had 2 straight days of constant TONGUE twitching, as I am now having. This is accompanied with a head pain that has been going for days, and it is making me want to resort to old habits. Even 3 years into this thing, even 2 EMGS, 3 Neuros, an MRI, etc. etc., I still have FEAR. I am doing much better, and I have found happiness and I have rediscovered myself, and I want those who are really struggling with this to know that it gets better. But I am also here as an example of how hard the journey is, because despite my health and success, I live with this fear. Again, as I type this, I have the most FEAR I've had in probably 5 or 6 months. I still think, "what is this new thing.....this isn't normal. This has never happened to me, like this. A constant TONGUE twitch, why!? Why is this happening? Should I call a NEURO? Should I go to AboutBFS and see if I should go to a Doctor? What should I do? " So, I'm here as a sign of hope and a sign of struggle. I'm here with -- still, after 3 years -- questions and concerns. -R
 
Ahhh the head pain. Know it well. The buzzing ... know it well. Sounds like a virus doesn't it? Sure wish someone would figure out what it is... I had some pretty severe spine pain, up into the back of my head for several weeks in the beginning of this.No doubt something changed in us. Thanks for posting, I am sure this will reassure several.-BFSB-
 
Good to see Ryan you are much better than 2 years ago :)and yes, you noted a very important issue -for some of us the fear, if started once under certain individual circumstances, becomes a lifelong companion. The reasons for this to happen are also very individual, and, epecially if it happens not in early childhood but in the mid twenties, it is hard to accept that life had changed forever and this little sceleton would be always here for now and on. You are an excellent example of the fact that people with anxiety disorder can live great and friutful life, they just have to be cautious (as diabetics, as I always state) and trace their condition and understand that each new bout of fears means just a regular bout which may go away by distraction/rational approach, and each bout of unusually strong or new subject fear which does not go away in few days by distraction might rather indicate that current stress level is unacceptable (simply saying, you need more sleep, less coffe, less troubles, vacation, or something really important had happened in your life which you try to ignore, etc.) Finally, a good indicator of lifestyle :)))Just be warned that positive emotions are also a trigger. So do not be surprised that you may have a bout after marriage of all your life :)))wish you more good and excellent years and decades of full life :) and less fears of course.
 
aaah, that is how the fear works!but from your description I can see that you have what doctors call 'essential fear' - fear of death or actions to cause potentially great harm. It is probably what eating you for years, there must be certain initial point in your life - watching some death or being at the edge of your own (or thinking that you are at the edge of death, because for our brains therer is no matter between those two states sometimes), or even just understanding that we all are finite - which you probably may not 'digest'. It is rather normal - no one ususlly takes this idea well, but young people usually seldom concentrate on that so much due to the nature of youth, and if you do so, it must be something causing you great pain and this is what usually people discuss with their coaches or counselors.What you told me about coming from meditation to fear is so typical for our disorder, practicaly textbook like... It even may have roots in your personality already, meaning that if ALS fear was your first ever bout, it may be regarded as onset of GAD or OCD and you would live then all your life more or less in that condition (fortunately it does not kill as you know but deteriorates a lot of good thing...)Fortunately it is manageable (I am a good example living on my own till 37 and starting therapy only then). Once you probably will make your own decision.as for your childhood time fears, I can only say that since that your body had fully (I mean REALLY FULLY, even your bones are completely new) exchanged several times already (as faras I can remeber, for the whole body it takes about 7 years but for example your guts mucous membrane becames fully new in every few days) and does not really remember what you were eating those days (unless you were eating or breathing yprite which causes irreversible gene damage but I doubt it). And becasue you did not die young, you may really evaluate how harmful were bacteira you swallowed from the hose :) Plus remember that because you was born maybe right before the bout of antivaccination hysteria, you probably were well protectd from tetanus, polyo, pox, measles, dyphteria and other pests ruining families even at the times of out parents childhood.Despite all controversies, we are living longer today. So I wish you good and healthy life, my friend ;)
 
Ok, So are you saying that my symptoms and yours could be brought on by OCD / GAD ? I always check my self and always think about my symptoms since my tongue started to twitch constantly 9/10 weeks ago... Even when its not in the fore front of my mind its always in my thoughts.. I just cant stop thinking about it..I thought the other day why don't I get head aches with all this worry and now a week later I am feeling slight headaches ! My anxiety is real and I get adrenaline rushes etc when its bad and sometimes I have to focus on controlling my breathing to calm myself, this has been going on much longer than my recent twitching flare up. I have been twitching for years but this recent bout is constant head to toe. :(
 
Oh Gracely,I forgot to mention another embarrassing fear, concern.....and since I've never been too proud to embarrass myself :oops: on this forum, here it goes:The other day, when I was reading, having a great day -- despite some tongue twitches, some fear -- the thought came to me when, yes, reading on the toilet. Like has happened so many times to me over the years, I read on the toliet, typically until my legs fall asleep from the way my elbows rest upon them. While doing this, then having trouble standing up, my legs were completely asleep -- then I thought: WHOA WHAT IF THIS is causing me NERVE damage or could lead to ***, after all these years! Or, what if having my girlfriend always sleep in that spot of my chest and arm to the point where my arm is always asleep when I wake up is causing damage -- or, what if these weird noises I hear in my neck every morning when I wake up -- like tiny crickets -- something my chiropractor said was nothing of worry, he said they were "air grapepie," but then I thought, "WHAT IF! ALL OF THESE THINGS.!"And that is how my mind can snowball. And in fact, I do fear some of those things, especially the "air grapepie." :oops: :(
 
Wah, Ryan, what a nice collection of obsessions!I know that you have that unique ability to turn literally every point of your body function into ALS fears and probably there is no other fellow here like you when it comes to that :))) Practically, if you once decide to go to proper specialist who treats obsessions, it would make easier yours and his or her work becasue symptomes are so clear... For some reasons ALS already became a vital need for you - not ALS itself of course but fear of ALS... fear of doing domething to cause you imminent and terrible death... I really do not know why you need that - maybe in order to feel the life better, maybe for dosens of other reasosns but it is really intriguing. It definitely mirrors something important in your life and personality but of course it is only you who may know that and it is only yours task to discover that mystery and benefit from it :) (Usually those very personal mysteries are really full of treasures... becasuse solving them opens so many doors previously seemed to be tightly closed).If you want to hear that, of course no, you can not damage your anterior horns neither by sitting in the toilet, nor by means of your girlfriend....and sounds in the neck are, as far as I understand, just sounds which muscles make on contraction (like those on EMG) and we can hear them in the morning becasue our hearing is not used to them yet (and becasue of proximity to the hearing nerve and good conductive ptoreties of the scull bone), but later we do not hear them, or it may be really CO2 gas clicking in the neck spine joints, if ever (I do not know anatomy so well to say if synovial liquid exists in the small joints like neck ones), in this case it is really like clicking the joint - harmless. Anyway, almost evrybody have that clicks and littel crickets :)))
 
Thanks for good words, Ryan,the secret of my presense here is a bit simple, I am working at home from 6 am till 8 pm usually (of course with breaks for lunch ;) )and every 20-30 minutes I really need a mental break becasue translation is a bit 'loading'... so I just have possibility to be one of 'on duty' persons :)I wish you good resolution of all your fears. You are really strong, living in dense obsession for 3 years and still restoring your life. Many of our fellows really demonstrate great strength and endurance. I am sure you would be fine and even better :)
 
Gracely,Well, because of your ability to both work from home and provide insight, knowledge, and understanding, the people at AboutBFS, myself included, have benefited greatly. I'm working hard on my fears, really hard. Sometimes I go days without fears, then,boom!The past 3-4 days for example:1.) I have been experiencing a kind of TWITCH that also feels like a constant BUBBLE under my tongue......BRAND NEW sensation, and it has been pushing me closer to the edge of anxiety. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?2.) Although I have been able to run and lift weights ever since the onset of my twitches and BFS, lately I have a pain under my left knee, whenever I bring my knee up, for example, sitting "Indian style," I feel a zap and almost a lock up, ever single time.3.) This led to a cycle of thinking......as I said a few weeks back, FEARS of Top Ramon in the Microwave, which was all I could afford to eat for years and into college, not knowing that material shouldn't go in the microwave; and you told me not to worry, no "GENE ALTERTING" stuff in there.Then MY ANXIETY took hold; what if there was "gene altering" stuff from the weird Chinese Medicine Website I ordered "natural pills" from back in like 2004-2006. I have no idea what was in there, and when I thought of this during the onset of my fears, anxiety, and BFS in 2010, I searched for that website and it no loner exists. ..... :oops: I'm angry I am falling back into a cycle of anxious thinking and I'm trying to escape it!
 
Your mind has the ability to alter your genes. Your body has amazing healing abilities and all you are doing is holding yourself back by continuing down this path of fear. There is no need to panic because all you need to do to start turning things around is start practicing some relaxation techniques that are proven to work. Check out this recent study put out by Massachusetts General Hospital that shows how after just one session of a relaxation technique the body's expression of genes changed from negative to positive. Just one!Study identifies genes, pathways altered during relaxation response practice*edit- And here is yet another study by researchers in Wisconsin, Spain, and France referencing very similar results:Researchers Finally Show How Mindfulness and Your Thoughts Can Induce Specific Molecular Changes To Your Genes
 
Thought I'd just respond because I identify with a lot of the discussion that has been going on here and hope in some way it may reassure. My apologies if I should ramble, but that's the nature of anxiety and fear, there is no order -it just comes out!I remember very clearly when I was in 6th form doing my A' Levels (about 17 y.o.) I came back from playing tennis and felt weird numbness and tingling in my fingers, toes and thighs and this continued for the next 3-4 years. I lived in fear of any sensations different from what I considered 'normal'. At that time I my huge fear was MS and I was totally convinced I had it. Nothing anyone said or did would persuade me otherwise. Only 10 years on when I still was playing tennis, my mum reminded me one day after another anxiety episode that she first took me to see a doctor 10 years before. She asked me how much longer did I think it would take before I would believe I didn't have MS. Of course in that 10 years, I had assumed I had also got a brain tumour, an osteosarcoma, leukaemia as well as MS. I've had my fair share of HIV scares over the last 10 years too despite being safe and careful and each time I've waited for the results of a test I have always assumed the worse and prepared myself for the inevitable. I ruined my brother's 21st birthday because I had made myself so ill with fear I could barely walk or eat.I can't exactly remember when I started getting fasciculations, but I think it must be 10 or so years at least. These have been on and off and never confined to one area and would go eventually only to reappear later, but over those years I have feared the worse and MND, ALS etc have always been right up there waving like big red flags in front of me. I should point out that I have never had any weakness or atrophy as such, just twitches and vibrations. Then nearly 3 months ago I suddenly without warning woke up one morning with the whole of my left lower leg twitching away and vibrations throughout my foot. There was also what i describe as pressure around my lower leg rather than cramping. My right lower leg had the occasional twitch but nothing like the left. I gave more details in an earlier post one night recently when I was messed up with indescribable fear and I echo others when I thank Gracely for her kind words of reassurance when I needed them.I should add that I am a fully qualified medical doctor practising in a busy teaching hospital. I have worked with professors of neurology and had the benefit of their and other people's wisdom over the past 6 years since I qualified. I was even based for a while in a neurophysiology lab, where NCS/EMGs were carried out and saw many of the patients who attended. I only mention this to provide context. Despite my training, despite my knowledge and understanding, despite discussing my health anxieties with eminent people and being given polite reassurance at all times, I still wake up on Wednesday morning at 4am in a blind panic, putting all my symptoms together, realising that it all points towards the inevitable doom which I fear. I spend the next hour testing all my muscle groups, my reflexes, my plantar reflexes, checking in the mirror for tongue twitches. I end up getting a painful spasm in my left calf after trying to walk on my heels as I'm testing my TAs. So, my anxiety worsens: My left TA is weak and cannot contract well enough. The next night (after working having had 3 hours sleep, but still managing to do a full 10 hour day') I go to the gym to test all my lower limb muscles. Bearing in mind I haven't been to the gym for 3 weeks because I've been too busy, then set the leg press to 140kg (which is what I was doing before). It feels ok for the first 2 reps, then I get a twinge in the back of my left thigh. I'm stupid enough to try another 3 and then it really hurts. Yes, it was dumb, but this is health anxiety at work. All sense and reason flies out of the window.So you see the situation. Ridiculous extreme testing which I know leads to injury and which I would never advise anyone else to do and all I can think of is that I have motor weakness and the spiral downwards continues.So, today, my calves are still twitching, but now I have a left thigh ligament strain and a couple of sore TAs plus a load more anxiety. All I could think about was going back to the gym and retesting my legs at 140kg -yes straight after injuring one of them.I have tried to give all this detail as honestly as I can because firstly I think part of the treatment for health anxiety (which is what I have effectively described) is actually to admit to ourselves that we have it (and us medical people have it more than most). I understand the vicious circle which goes on and I can theorise and explain it and all the rest, but to actually apply it to myself in those moments of terror and fear it almost impossible. I should also add than in panic and fear a large dose of adrenaline (epinephrine to those across the pond) is released into our bodies in preparation for fight or flight. Adrenaline excites the whole body and creates hyperexcitability in nerves and the body then shakes and twitches even more than normal. This can last for hours afterwards. The stress hormone cortisol is also released at this time. The effect of this is to keep us awake and disrupt sleep, enhancing the effect of adrenaline. So, we are now unable to sleep, our body is shaking, twitching, our mind is focused on what our body is doing and so the cycle continues. I used to be skeptical of people who talked about meditation and relaxation techniques and I could never see myself doing them, but it is clear how the benefits of such things can provide clear biochemical/hormonal advantage too aside from their help with anxiety.ClearShakes, I really fully empathise with you about how a new symptom which suddenly comes from nowhere immediately heightens your anxiety and starts the whole thing off for you again. In terms of your tongue symptom, I doubt if anyone knows exactly what you are feeling, but in all the literature I have read anywhere about serious neurological conditions, no one talks about grapepie under the tongue or something similar. 2 weeks ago I had a buzzing on the left hand side of my tongue and I spent hours trying to see something and work out what was going on, but never got an answer. The key thing in all this is to remember that once fear is active, we become far more aware of every sensation, twitch or minor abnormality in our bodies than we ever used to or which most other people do. We become very sensitive without even realising it, more aware of noise and light sometimes too. I know I am extremely sensitive to alarms and bells than other people are for example. The effect of this is that we pick up any minute change in our body and if our fear is neurological then our brain is wired into looking to associate the symptom with the disease. We all need to remember that our neurological system is the least understood of all the systems and is massively complex. We still don't understand properly why some people have excruciating nerve pain for no good pathological reason. I think I'm trying to say that our nerves are constantly firing and sending information to and from the spine and the brain and the fact that we don't sense anything most of the time is because we are not aware of small variations or changes. It is only when our awareness is heightened that we then begin to notice such normal variations. With your knee, this sounds nothing more than a ligament pull, extremely common in limbs (I can vouch for it!) and they can take a very long time to heal, sometimes months. I had an ankle sprain after playing 5-aside football and it took 2 years before the pain stopped altogether. Collateral and cruciate ligaments are very susceptible to pulls, and you need to be gentle with your knee while it heals. Stretch it gently but never to the point of pain -I am preaching this to myself too by the way!I wish you all the best ClearShakes, and really hope you can find some way to relax and enjoy your life without being ruled by fear. The fact that you are here is good -I know it has helped me beyond anything I can express.
 
I think this is a really interesting thread. I feel the fear will be with me for a long time - I hope not for ever but it will be tough.I for one have been clinically diagnosed with health anxiety after my mother passed away and I think will everything that followed I suffered a kind of PTSD. I've never properly grieved for her and it's been over 2 years. I think for sure that anxiety can trigger this. I'm not says in every case but for me I think my anxiety was so high and I had internalised so much that it was the next place my body could go. Like a tipping point.Googling only serves to increase my anxiety and I guess it's the age we live in. I'm sure if this had happened 30 years ago I would have been none the wiser. I would have twitched but I may not have given it such a huge place in my psyche.I get over the fear and then a new symptom sets me off again. It's the nature of this beast and as my GP says I have to take the ride and see what happens. A big part of it is accepting the symptoms but knowing that there are 2 possible routes - the benign or non benign makes it very hard to keep on the benign road. This forum is great for chewing the cud and I'd just like to thank everyone here for being so helpful and kind with their time.
 
Ryan,you should know that your nature obiously supports obsessive way of thinking. Nothing to blame, we are who we are, and gents often develop obsessive disorders compared to ladies for example (we in turn are more prone to anxiety disorders with less obsessive features). So you should remember this specific feature and may ground your defence on that fact.Unless you were subject to mustard gas action (doubt it could be) or worked for years at the petrochemical plant, or in the auto workshop in old times of dangerous types of petrol and lubes, or were exposed to ionising radiation beyond normal regular Xray or dentist Xray - then your chances to get something irreversibly damaging to your genes are not high. Not higher that chances of any average person of your age - they all probaby eat the same junk food etc. Many gents also use 'chinese pills' which mostly contain nothing more that caffeine-like stimulants and maybe same sylendaphile as common viagra pills and can boost your nerve hyperexcitability but temporarily of course;)I think the fact you had life threatening event and neck trauma right before your BFS onset might have much more consequences for your obsessions with health than eating Ramen for 4 years (do you know by the way that the procedure of determination of teratogenic or carcinogenic potential implies really HIGH doses of the substance, sometimes up to 100 of highest possible dosage a person can encounter in the life, so rats are relly OVERDOSED, hyperoverdosed I would say - this is done in order to be able to clearly ditinguish aging processes (becasue rats are aging much quicker than we humans) from toxic ones etc.) So minimum possibly formed amount of whatever simply was not enough to harm you and you need really eat those packages itself well cooked (not the ramen) to get some serious damage :)))your knee pain is definitely traumatic (with your lifestyle it could be), and as for your grapepie under the mouth :))) well it probably would go away infew days or weeks and you would switch over another DREADFUL sensation...CBT is very good for obsessive issues, so I suppose as soon as you can afford that, it might be worth to try. You are so nice and full of life person, holding up great but just consider it would always recycle unless you will learn how to break the cycle.
 
The fear is such a foolish lie, and such a snare for us, isn't it? My kitty has been in the hospital, getting worked up for cancer. I've been a MESS, worrying, crying, losing sleep and feeling seriously miserable about losing him. My husband (ever so wise) challenged me; "what good are you doing him, by being in this constant state of panic?" Of course, I had to pause, and ask myself; "what good, indeed?" I can't change the outcome by fretting over it, I can only lift a prayer to heaven and hope for the best. And how much more will I be able to cope with whatever lay before me, if I'm rested, fed, calm, and serene? But see, I think we somehow learn to believe that hyper-vigilance is somehow going to prevent bad things from happening to us. And, we confuse this obsessive thinking with being "proactive", which might actually help us, so that only screws us up, further. The serenity prayer is so helpful in times such as this, and I am a praying peep. :) But even if you are not, the words are still so relevant....Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.Upon those words, those principles; the obsessed soul must learn to rest. No one ever has a guarantee on any given day. It's snowing here in the northeast, and cars are bound to slip, slide, crash into each other, and spiral off the highway. There will be casualties; there always are. Someone like you, or me, who woke up this morning expecting to drive to work, have a productive day, go home, and watch some football, will perhaps meet their Maker. Should we worry about that, too? It clearly is a realistic possibility; actually quite more probable, statistically speaking, than dying of **S. And I suppose there are plenty of people who, in their OCD, do go to that particular phobic thinking, and never end up leaving their homes. We may even look at them and think, "what a wasted life," but while we are taking THEIR inventory, perhaps we ought to be taking our OWN. I'm reminded of the episode of "I Love Lucy" when there were just too many chocolates coming down the conveyor belt, for Lucy and Ethel to keep up with. They ultimately resorted to just eating the chocolate. When fear is too overwhelming; when there are just too many things to fret about, let's just eat some freakin chocolate. 'k? You really are doing great, Ryan. At some point, you will be so accustomed to these symptoms, you will forget to notice them anymore. It takes some of us much longer than others to get to that point, but it will come. I think one of the greatest challenges for me is in this present season, now that I am long past BFS, is that I've trained myself to ignore EVERY symptom. My knee has been hurting, and clicking and giving out, and I know I must have sprained or torn or overdone something, yet I still go to the gym and work-out for hours at a time. This is not healthy, either. Balance is key. May we all be blessed to find it. Blessings, Sue
 
Sue thank you for your post. Such wisdom. I think anxiety and fear is definitely borne out of not being able to control everything in our lives and sometimes the fear can become too much. Certainly that's the case for me and one of the reasons for my anxiety being manifested as health anxiety. What will happen to my loved ones if I am no longer able to look after them? My children, will they grow up to be happy and healthy? How can I make it such that we are protected from life's bad things as much as I can? All this a burden of responsibility that sometimes feels overwhelming. I'm not religious but the words you quote ring so true and I shall try and take them on board as they are wise words.Thank you.
 
EnglishTwitcher, as you say this is a really interesting thread. One thing that seems common to most people with health anxiety is related to their ability to control their own world. With incurable conditions, which they fear most, they lose this control and feel they are unable to exert any influence. This is in contrast to the rest of their lives when they are usually able to at least have some control. A similar situation occurs in people who are phobic about flying. Confined in a narrow aluminium cabin in mid air leaves them with very little control over their destiny and requires them to trust someone else entirely with their safety. I don't have huge anxiety with flying, but I certainly have an awareness of the what the aircraft is doing and can quite easily get concerned during turbulence! Thinking outside the box therefore, dealing with anxiety in whatever way works for us individually would seem a better use of energy and emotion than simple reassurance -although this has its own important role to play too.
 
Ryan,having pain and cricket like clicking in the neck in the morning means most ptobably that it may be worth to make another Xray just to see if it is Ok (becasue you had a neck trauma fewy years ago), but also it definitely means you have wrong sleeping equipment (pillow, matresse).Clicking comes from gas bubles (CO2) dissolved in synovial liquid and also it may be a muscle contraction sound, which for neck muscles we can sometimes hear due to direct transition throught the skull bones. Both are harmless.as for pillow, I for example started to sleep on so called pregnancy pillow of breasfeeding pillow (huge U-shape pillow supporting head, hands and tights and allowing back to go down). I may say I practically forgot about issues like numb hands, pain in the back or in the neck in the morning which was torturing me for last 6 month. So maybe that experience would be useful for yoy, therer is at least a bunch if special head supports, if you do not want to sleep in a kind of nest like me :)))
 
Great posts and discussions I'll share what was sent to me by a senior member that I thought was well put"My simple answer is that it doesn't really matter what your specific symptoms are because BFS is harmless and it cannot possibly hurt you. The only way I would be alarmed at your symptoms at all would be if you said "I can't pick up a fork and my hand stopped working two weeks ago." THAT would be the type of symptom that would alarm you. Anything less than that (ie, like 99.999999% of other symptoms) are nothing more than plain old ordinary BFS. Nobody on this board has a symptom that is even close to alarming to me "Bfs is 90 %mental Reduce stressReduce stress
 
Invisible Twitches,Letting the symptoms of your left index finger take control of your state of happiness is an example of giving your power away. You are focusing your energy and attention on something physical and making that a condition which your happiness is dependent upon. This decision is yours to make whether you realize it or not. It may seem like an inconsequential detail whether you look to your health for your happiness or not, but it does make a world of a difference in the long run. Decide to look within yourself for your happiness. Find things in life that you are grateful for. Where you focus your energy and attention does make a difference. Doing things like this lowers the importance placed on your symptoms to being an annoyance or nuisance rather than giving them the power to be obstacles that stand between you and your happiness. The simple truth is that we don't need anything physical or material in order to be happy, including perfect health. When we decide to look to external things outside of our control we give our power away. I recently said this in another post but I like the analogy. Our happiness is a state of being. We have to become it in order to feel it. When you look into a mirror is it not silly to expect the reflection to smile first? If we want to see a smile and feel a smile, we must genuinely smile into the mirror. We must become what we seek. A frown will return a frown and a fake smile will return a smile. Focus your energy and attention on the things in life that you are truly grateful for. Happiness is a part of your soul if you are willing to look there to find it. You don't need a house, a car, or perfect health to find it. Go and visit a children's cancer ward at a hospital if you want to see an example of how happiness can be found within. Anytime you say 'yeah, but...' you are putting conditions that are unnecessary on your happiness. Realizing this is the first step. Taking action to change it is the second.There are tools and techniques available for you to learn to overcome your fears and anxiety. Meditation is a great example. Spend time you'd otherwise be worrying and actively work to learn one of these tools or techniques to change your life for the better. You are the only one standing in the way. Where you go from here is up to you. What you spend your time and energy focusing on is up to you. If it makes you feel better I've had strange things like what you describe happen before. I thought I was developing carpel tunnel because my fingers would get tingly when I typed. All it took was a simple chiropractic adjustment and a quick treatment of acupressure from my holistic doc for it to go away. I had a vertebrae out of alignment in my neck that was pinching the nerve, but all I could feel was slight tingling in my fingertips when my wrists were strained. It's strange how things in the body work and not everything is what it seems. The real reason for your finger having issues is likely something simple and you are worrying for nothing. That's what an unrestrained mind can do though. It can get carried away if we don't learn to discipline it and tune in to our own inner peace. This in itself can be very healing because it checks the stress and anxiety at the door which can run amuck unrestrained. You have much to be grateful and happy for. Spend time on that and sit with it. Nothing can take your true happiness away unless you let it.
 
This thread seems very much about Health Anxiety; which I can definitely identify with. I have to admit to myself that it has been affecting my life on and off for nearly 5 years. The list of 'episodes' is patently absurd. You name it; at some point I was convinced I had it; tumors, diabetes, heart disease, cancers.... all of which passed, and I look back at how absurd it all was.BFS has been harder so far.. as it's really hanging around (6 months so far - i know that's in its infancy compared to some), and those close to me, not surprisingly, have decreasing patience hearing about my 'episodes'. It has also affected me more than any of the other ' irrational beliefs', as it has some very real physical manifestations that can't actually be turned off overnight. i.e. I don't believe it's purely my stressful imagining that keeps all the symptoms in place.I 'believe' abnormal health anxiety is a state of irrational belief. Unfortunately the longer you practice those beliefs though, the stronger those neural pathways get. More irritating is the prevalence of advice that tries to reason with your irrational beliefs. Reason does not help me very much, as FEAR does not reside in the rational brain.These days I look at it as a matter of practice. The good news is that neural pathways can also be changed back.... with practice. Finding a range of practices (that don't require belief) and sticking with them; eg. meditation, Yoga, good eating etc.Of course there is a time-lag at work in these positive practices; and if you're like me, my recovery from episodes of Health Anxiety is when I "forget to remember about it" (bad grammar intended) And then in my joy, promptly abandon all good practices until it's too late and I NEED them again.So some advice for myself. Keep up these positive lifestyle practices, whatever they may be, ESPECIALLY while you don't NEED them - and you might just stay free more often.Having said all that - if you need something to arrest an intense anxiety period or panic attack, that doesn't require belief; have a go at bio-energetic breathing - nothing has been more immediately effective for me when things are out of control.
 

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