Navigating Health Anxiety: My Story

[hekses]

Hi, I have been reading this website for a few months now. I was brought here by Google after a few weird things I experienced out of the blue. First off, I have had Health Anxiety for almost 10 years. I remember being 18 years old and coming home from an awesome week away at summer camp. I can remember laying down on the floor and having this rush of fear consume me, and that's what set my anxiety into motion. So now, 10 years and 30 terminal illnesses later, I am here. Back in August I was walking around my neighborhood with my wife and kids. As I rounded the corner, I noticed this very strange buzzing sensation in my left foot. It ran from the back of my foot and up my calf. At first I didn't think much of it, but after a few weeks of this constant nuissance, I decided to google it. What I found was troubling to say the least, and my life has been hell since that day. I have had muscle twitching ever since my anxiety started, but on a very minor level ( a few eye twitches and random twitches in my arms and legs every now and again). My symptoms kind of started slow. I felt the buzzing....then I had some perceived weakness...which I really wouldn't call perceived because it was real weakness, but it was body wide weakness. I guess I can't really call it weakness either, it was more like a drained feeling like holding my hands up to shave my head tired my shoulders out. So as I spent more and more time on the internet visiting sites to search for an explanation, I started reading a lot of people' posts about the three letter disease that I dare not mention. I noticed a small twitch had developed in my left calf. It was the kind of twitch that could be seen and felt, but not a huge twitch by any means, just enough that I noticed it. I went to my Doctor, who knows I have terrible anxiety and I told him what my fears were. He basically laughed and then brushed me off saying , "you have anxiety, deal with it". Now normally I would except that, except now I have real crazy physical things happening to me like they never have before. So I went home and went back to living my life, with a little less fear than before. Then a few days later, I happened to notice a small dent in the back of my left calf where I had been having these twitches. Boom, instant terror and sweating and an intense amount of fear consumed me. Well it's been a couple of months since then and now the dent has gotten bigger and more pronounced. It literally runs from the bottom of my calf muscle to the top and is about 3/4" wide. My calf muscle also feels smaller than the right one. Now I am in a state of panick. My leg has felt weak, the bottom of my foot hurts, and now every time I take a step I get a cramp behind my left knee. My left calf feels "funny" all day long, kind of like a small vibration/buzz or what I can only describe as a fuzzy feeling. I get little twitches around my left leg and foot. The thing that freaks me out is that I don't really get constant twitching all over my body, it's mostly my left leg. I get little random twitches in my right leg, eye lid, shoulder, etc., but nothing regular....except my left calf is as regular as the twitches can be. My doctor refuses to give me an appt. to see a neurologist. I am terrified and I really don't want to have some serious or deadly disease. Can anyone else kind of assure me or relate to any of this list of symptoms? Could this be BFS? Thank you in advance for the responses. Also, can someone give me some help on how to get a picture on my profile like other people have?

 

[Karen123yNikki123yMe]

Hi,I am pretty new to posting on this site but have been twitching now for over 6 months. I am also a health anxiety sufferer (around 14 years). Most of my health worries have been neurological in nature (pretty convinced I had MS for around 6 years). Not much compares with the thought of having ALS though.My initial twitching started after I researched info on Dr Google about a small dent I had in my calf. You know the drill as to how it all pans out from there. Funnily enough, my fears now seem to centre around my left hand (haven't studied my calf dent for quite some months). Has your Dr looked at the area you feel is atrophied? Don't forget your body is not symetrical and we are meant to have lots of dents and channels.Try not to stress over it too much and if you think your Dr is dismissing you without proper investigation - go else where for peace of mind.Take care.

 

[Gloria123]

I twitch mainly on my right calf and right foot, although my left calf is affected too. Don't worry - that's normal for everyone. There could be something to look at (pinched nerve or a bad back), but this doesn't sound like it's anything serious at all.Don't worry about it!!Mitra

 

[Jaxon2020]

I am new to this forum also, and I find it interesting how all of us in this thread have health anxiety. You mentioned that you returned from summer camp and your anxiety began. have you ever been checked for Lyme? I have celiac disease and it can cause all kinds of neurological issues, so if you are having tingling and any kind of GI symptoms get checked for gluten intolerance. I hope your anxiety settles down. Mine had to be treated with prozac and clonopin for a good year to get me back to "normal". I do have to say that .25 or .5 mgs of clonopin does wonders if you are really in duress. it can cause dependency so you want to be vigilant about just staying with the small dose. I take one that dissolves on the tongue and it calms me right down. I know that drugs aren't the best way to go, but I know how debilitating the anxiety over health is, I have lived it for many years.

 

[JohnnyRocket]

Your doctor refusing to give you a neuro appointment is no different than him refusing to give you tests to check for brain cancer. Your symptoms paint a clear picture,....so why test further for something you clearly don't have?

 

[myswift]

A world-class ALS expert we saw has seen over 2000 ALS patients in his academic career. He said that BFS will never convert into ALS. If you twitch and have no clinical weakness, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE ALS…PERIOD. It doesn’t matter where you twitch, no clinical weakness, no ALS. Doesn’t matter how hard or how subtle your twitches are, if you can see them or if you cannot--no clinical weakness, no ALS.The clinical weakness has to be diagnosed by a neuro…it cannot be perceived weakness…..Again, people get twitches on different parts of the body…some just the calf others on the back or others like me will twitch on my left calf for a month, and then I will twitch all over for a week etc. Another important point: everyone on this forum is e asymmetrical, and everyone on this forum has a tremor….i can promise you this…some people are so subtle that you cannot notice them but this is how we are made up physiologically. Get better

 

[hekses]

Thank you all for the responses. I understand what you all are saying, I guess I just have a tough time getting over this fear. I do want to believe the Doctors and everyone around me who tells me I'm fine, but it's hard for me to accept when I can feel these terrifying things going on, and to me they feel like they are getting worse. I finally got a Neuro appt. for tomorrow, so I'm hoping and praying everything is ok. It's bothering me though because the pain and dent in the back of my calf are getting worse and it freaks me out. I just want to get through this thing and start my recovery. I also started seeing a psychologist last week to try to learn how to change my thought process. Thanks again to everyone.

 

[AcuDocMed11]

myotwitchIt'a interesting that you mention tremors. My wife kept telling me that my head would shake ever so slightly. I would focus and it would stop. This was going on for about one year before the twitching started. In my opinion the medication was MY major contributing cause for the twitching. Now having been off it for 4-5 months there is no more head tremor. I suspect that there might be for some of us.....a long time buildup of factors causing or contributing to the tremors, twitching, cramping, etc.As an Oriental medical practitioner I created a combination of Chinese herbal formulas, plus supplements for myself. As a summary - in the morning I am taking herbal formulation to kill parasites, clear liver & gall bladder and drain through the bowels. Mid-day I take ubiquinol CoQ10, magensium amino acid chelate, krill oil, and Omega 3-6-9 oils. In the evening I take Chinese herbs again to support my liver & gall bladder. I just started this protocol so it is early yet...while the twitching remains it has greatly reduced in strength. 43RichyThe43rd