Fears of a Rare Cancerous Tumor

Highlights Only
S

santos271

Well-known member
Of course I"m watching the "Today" show and there is a story about a college kid with a rare cancerous tumor of the spinal cord - a chordoma. Now I'm convinced that's what I have. I hate this.Joanne
 
Ok Joanne, I hate to have to do this, but when someone around here won't turn off the tv, stop googling or whatever it is, and is driving themselves insane, we get out the wet noodle and proceed to whack them with it until they stop. I've had to use it on Mark in the past and it's worked pretty well, so maybe you're next. Since you haven't seen the neuro yet and the time leading up to that is the worst part, I'll cut you some slack, but you have to try and get you mind elsewhere. Everyone here has the same symptoms and a benign condition. :D) So, that's my support group advice for today. Sir_Trouserz
 
okay, Sir_Trouserz is right, once again!! I am reading your posts, and can tell that you are so wound up. I hate to say this, but you are making it worse by thinking of all of the things it could be. And these thoughts are not rational. I remember when my fear was at its peak, and I would walk into a washroom, and the wheelchair access stall was the only one available. Well, I read this as a sign, I had better get used to using the big one. I would drive behind a vehicle, and the license plate contained the letters M and S. Well, another sure sign. At the dentist office, after opening a reader digest, the insert for the walk-a-thon fell on my lap. That sealed it. Sound unreasonable, may bordering on crazy? I see it now, but not then. It was real for me, just as this is real for you now. I wish I had the simple answers for you, but I don't. I found things to do, and taking my mind off of me helped. Friday will come, maybe not fast enough, but until then, you need to stay calm. p.s. you are taking someone with you to the appointment right??
 
Thanks, yes, my husband is going with me. Mostly for my reassurance, but also to make sure that I am very clear with the neuro about my level of anxiety. This dizziness is really getting to me - it's incredibly unsettling to feel so off balance for hours and days at a time. It's hard to believe that this strong of a physical feeling can be brought on by anxiety, so I am very fearful of the possible physical causes. And of course I see those "signs" everywhere. I didn't think I was in any anxiety "danger" by watching the Today show. I think I need to stop. Recently they had a series on "living with chronic illness" which got me concerned. Then this morning the story on the rare cancer that has several of my symptoms. Of course the kid who has it is at Duke University - about 1/2 from me, and the major researcher is at Duke, too. Another "sign!" I was fearful of MS but at this point I'm thinking, "Back it up - I'll take the MS!" I just took a Xanax to try to get over this current panic. Now I'm very dizzy and I can't tell what's already there and what's caused by the Xanax. :) At this point I am so worked up that I can't imagine the neuro on Friday is going to tell me anything good. It can't be benign to feel this bad. (Can it?) I know brain tumors are common worries of people with health anxiety. My own OB told me at my last vist that while she was in med school she was convinced she had a brain tumor. So, even reasonable people can have the same fear. (I bet she wasn't dizzy for weeks at a time though!! :) )You know, when people are feeling bad or down on their luck, it almost sounds trivial to say, "at least you have your health." I will never ever take that statement for granted again. Joanne
 
okay, when this thing started with me, i twitched everywhere, and all the time. my muscles hurt, i had stabbing pains, and the burning feeling was excruciating. pins and needles, occasional numbness at night, it was awful. and I thought the same thing, something that feels this terribly cannot be good. It has to be something bad, and how come the doctors aren't taking me seriously. I was angry and very scared. I had numerous tests, took some anti-depressants (kinds' liked those ones), and took lots of vitamins. For a few years, my life was awful. I was fearful and anxious. I think my turning points was when Kit told me to put my fears in a little box and throw it away. (I don't even know her, and somehow her post hit hard, I thank her still). I guess you just have to be at a stage where you are ready to move on. You're not quite there yet, evidently. But my wish is that you will come to a place that will enable you to accept that what you have is indeed odd, but not debilitating. We will all celebrate Friday's arrival, and look forward to your "good news" post.by the way, i just remembered that i was prescribed a couple antidepressants before i found one that worked for me. the side effect of most of them? dizziness. crazy dizziness. I remember now how i could hardly walk ... Could any of it be zanax related?Anyway, I wish you peace. Keep posting, because we want to help you through this.
 
The xanax makes me more dizzy at first, but it's there without any meds. It's been a few months now. I am scared about Friday and the neuro appt. I only hope it's as everyone expects - not bad news. :)
 
JoanneI completely understand what you are going through right now as I too have my 1st neuro appointment on Friday. These last couple weeks have been hell. I recently sold my business and have had WAY too much time on my hands to obsess and spend lots of time on the internet. I have had so many of the same thoughts and symptoms(?) as you over this time. Last night went to the theater with my wife and had major panic attack thinking this w/b the last time I would do somthing like this w/out a definitive dx of you know what. My wife had to give me a mini arm rubdown where I was having muscle strain to bring me back to reality so that we could stay and enjoy the show. I wish I could tell you with certainty that you (and I) will be given the 100% all clear, but as I am in this horrible pre-neuro period, I am also going through the same fears. Deep down, though, I do truly believe we have BFS, and tomorrow (it is Thu here in Australia already!) will be the beginning of a return to normal life. Hang in there. I'll be thinking about you on Friday. I look forward to hearing how it goes.Chris
 
Joannela: Yes, dizziness, even "crazy dizziness" can be a symptom of anxiety. When one is anxious, their flight/fight response is activated (involves the limbic system in the brain) and the body experiences increases in cortisol and adrenaline that prepare it to run away or fight off an attack. Those hormones cause all sorts of physical symptoms including chest pain, shortness of breath, heart racing, hot flashes, stomach distress, trembling hands and limbs, muscle tension, dry mouth, and dizziness...to name a few. Our thought patterns (like the belief that we have a terminal illness) can trigger fearful and anxious mood. And the physical symptoms can cause anxious thoughts. It becomes a viscious cycle. Intense anxiety is miserable for anyone and it is not good for our physical well-being to encourage cortisol/adrenaline showers on a frequent basis. I'm so sorry that you are struggling right now...no matter the source of your dizziness, it is upsetting when we note changes in our physicality. You will soon have this all sorted out. Just know that the explanation for your physical symptoms is most likely benign. Be gentle with yourself.
 
Hey sweetie: I have no doubt in my mind that you are experiencing anxiety-related symptoms. I know because you sound just like me back in September. Once you see the neuro and have the assurance you need, find yourself a really good psych md, counselor, psychologist or just a minister who can walk you through the recovery from this anxiety. It will eat you alive, but you can pull through it. At one point, I had to make a list of things I was thankful for and read it daily. You are okay----I just know it. Are you familiar with a book entitled "The Battlefield of the Mind", by Joyce Meyers. It is excellent and I have found it to be very helpful. I bought it in audio form and form weeks would listen to it at night. Also, on under personal resources you can find some highly recommended meditation cds called paralliminals. I am planning to order the on on anxiety and deep meditation. Check it out. He is a friend of Zig Ziglar and I am currently seeing him for counseling. But make some moves by putting positive stuff into your mind, you will find that it is very helpful. Keep your chin up, we're going to get through this.Cindy
 
Just another comment with regard to hormonal imbalance. You have just had a baby and I am going through menopause----can you see some possible similarity here. I am experiencing all the things you are describing. You are not succumbing to some terrible disease. You are a very lovely young mom with so very much to look forward to. Cindy
 
Joanne,I'm like a boomerang you throw it and it comes back! I just can't stay away from this website. My psychiatrist told me to stop it but am I listening? Nope. I know all you need to know about anxiety I am the queen of anxiety and a hypochondriac. Since I became anxious my medicine cabinet is overflowing with all sorts of drugs that I don't even use! I've had so many ailments in the past 6 months because of anxiety. You've only got one day left until your appointment. Let the Xanax settle you down. You won't be on Xanax forever. I know it's hard because you need to look after your baby. There is a website called http:\\anxietycentre.com that lists many symptoms of anxiety. You will get through this rough patch in your life. Your neuro will do all it takes to help you. Let him know all your concerns, all your symptoms including any that may come and go and a timeline. The more info the better I believe. They know what they are looking for, this is what thy are trained to do. When he say's it's benign then concertrate on acceptance and then recovery. As Nancy said be gentle with yourself. If it is anxiety, and I know we all have varying triggers and thoughts about that, then you must work on that.Sir_Trouserz you're a champ. You are always the voice of reason. From memory your condition is auto-immune related. I think mine is anxiety related yet you've never once tried to convince me otherwise and I thank you for that. I strive to be like you and get on with life. By the way how's your new med going? I can't remember what it's called just that it start's with an L? Oh and something completely unrelated to BFS, Sir_Trouserz you look like Andie McDowell judging from your photo!Good luck tomorrow and God blessMaria
 
I don't know what we would all have done with this condition if we didn't have one another to rely on for help. I know the people here saved me many a time with the many new crazy symptoms that I had and I feel so grateful for that. From burning sensations to internal vibrations to tongue twitching to dizziness, the fact that there is always someone here ready to help you through this difficult and scary condition is such a blessing. If I can be any small part of helping someone else get through it, I am so happy. You're all such wonderful friends. I'm up to 50mg with the Lamictal and while my symptoms haven't been too bad lately, they seem to really flare up when I'm sick so time will tell. I will be up to 100mgs next week and have a follow-up with Dr. Tahmoush. Thank you for asking and I'll keep you posted. Hang in there Joanne! We've all been there and are rooting for you. Always remember that BFS is the most likely cause of your symptoms and stay away from all forms of media until Friday!!Take Care,Sir_Trouserz
 
omg something I can ACTUALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY REPLY to and I have knowledge about.. As a hospice nurse I just had a dear close patient at the age of 53 die of the same RARE CANCER- I spent almost 2 years with him. I know a lot about it. I watched his legs twitch and jerk and I watched atrophy TRUE ATROPHY and slow paralysis...w/ saying all this--- HE WAS IN MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR PAIN From the beginning...Pain SOOO bad...he wanted to take his whole life!Please dont consider this disease for yourself...Im gonna use the noodle too!
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 1 (members: 0, guests: 1)
Back
Top