Exploring the Meaning of First Twitch

FabulousOne

Well-known member
Hi there,
A new theory has come to my mind. I will try to expose it simply, as far as my poor english skills allow me to do so.
Most of us have a pretty accurate idea of the date when we first twitched. But are we right ? I mean, what does "the first time" mean ? The first time we noticed it ? The first time we really noticed it ? The first time we typed "fasciculations" on google and went across all this terrible als stuff ?
I ask the question, because I recently realized I've been twitching for much longer than what I imagined. Only it didn't matter. Only it was not as frequent and regular as it is today. We all know around us people who occasionaly twitch - and who don't give a care. But we are trapped in a world of illusions and false fears.
I know it's not the case for everbody here, but I still think that, for must of us, the starting point was the day we realized we could have als. We still can, as everybody else. In a paradoxal way, we have used this starting point as mean to reassure ourselves, thinking, ok, I've been twitching for X months now without any weakness, which means I'll be safe in (13.5 - X) months.
I think maybe we're wrong. Maybe our "starting point" is much more ancient, therefore our predictions are irrevelant.
Ok, there may be phsyical explanations to what we are experiencing. We're not sleeping well. We're not drinking enough. We're way, way too anxious. But, come on, even my neuro told me that 50% of her fellow students had fasciculations at the time the studied als in class.
What I mean is : well, we should probably forget all about this "13.5 months without weakness and you're fine" statistics because we are ALREADY fine. It's just that we have gained access to a kwnoledge that, maybe, we weren't strong enough to cope with. Haven't you noticed that, most of the times, when you try to talk about als to people who don't even know what it is, they just don't understand what you're talking about ? That's because the fear is not in them. Now we have no choice. We have to know the fear, we have to confront it, we have to sink to the bottom - to be normal again.
We are living in a parallel universe, when every statistic makes sense, every word can be misinterpreted, every new symptom is a source of anxiety. We have to get back in the real universe and enjoy our lives. I know, while writing these lines, that I am almost completly unable to do it. But I try. And I'll keep trying again and again, 'til I succeed. And this site greatly helps. You people are so nice.
Fabrice
 
My twitching started on May 26, 2004. The day before, I was at the orthoped's office getting x-rays on my joints because they were all popping and cracking. I had worked myself up into a HUGE frenzy that followed five months of other health anxiety issues. While in the waiting room, I picked up a copy of PEOPLE magazine. I saw an article on Jennifer Estess. I read "age 35 . . . twitching" and put it down. I find it VERY ODD they started the next day, don't you? I was also on LUVOX for OCD at the time and it was making me VERY aggitated.

If I had never read that 13.5 business, I would have just listened to my neuro who told me after three months I was fine and after six months, in the clear.

Peg
7.5 months
 
Peg,

You are arlready in the clear. I mean, this 13.5 months thing is just a statistic. Even here in France, where I had the opportunity to talk in a forum with als patients, nobody told me that you could have fasc. during six months without anything - and THEN, develop als. In case you're too worried, just have an EMG, it will put your mind at ease. But I'm sure you're fine. What I meant in my post is, well, we could stop twitching next month and in 10 years, get als. We should try not to think in terms of "months", "being in the clear", "one year mark", etc. Obviously , your twitching is, like mine, due to anxiety, and not to that f****** disease. So do yourself a favor, stop being obsessed with it, somewhere in a corner of your mind, you know you are ok.
Take care, hang on !
Fabrice
 

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