Back to the Old Board

[Outlook1958]

Hello together!It's been a very long time since i've visited this board the last time. However, right now my old experiences here somehow came up to my mind again - so I just decided to check back. Of course I didn't have the time to catch up on reading all the new posts here, but at the first glance I have noticed a lot of new members and topics here. I'm very glad to see the board still alive and thriving. Surely many of you have joined the board just recently and probably haven't happened to stumble upon my story with BFS at the beginning of 2009, but I'm quite sure that some of the old folks are still around here as well.For those who don't know me, just a brief info: I've been experiencing random muscle twitches (and nothing else except fear) since December 2008. I visited a neuro who performed some basic tests (no EMG) and sent me back home telling me I was fine. This, together with all the reassurance from this board and the period of time that had passed since the onset of my symptoms made the anxiety and the fear of having ... it ... vanish. So basically the twitching has remained until today (so it's a bit over two years by now), but nothing about it has changed, I haven't ended up in a wheel chair, I still can chew and swallow my pizza, wander through the forests and mountains of Bavaria and carry beer kegs. No weakness, not the slightest bit I guess I'm coming close to the status of a BFS veteran now At this point I would like to take the opportunity to thank all of you for helping me through a really tough time. I came to this board literally scared to death, and there were so many helpful and nice people who took their time to help me and calm me down. This surely meant a lot to me as I would have probably lost my mind without all the support I received here. The most characteristic thing about the anxiety originating from BFS is that this anxiety tends to disappear after a while... It just takes some time ro realize that you're not going to die or end up paralyzed or something. But it can definitely be a hard time until then - and the helpful and nice people around here can make it A LOT easier to live through. Thank you, my friends. I will never forget your kindness.Well, I guess I've learned one important thing since my last visit here: There IS a thing called health anxiety, and it quite probably might be the superstructure of all the fears we are experiencing here regarding the twitching. It must not necessarily be focused on BFS symptoms however - I think that some people just have some sort of a tendency to closely monitor their health and all the signals their body gives them, even if they are completely harmless and normal. And this is what makes us go crazy... It's a hard thing to cope with, because the fear is our own body and not some other object or situation we easily can avoid (confined spaces, spiders, great heights etc).In my unfortunate case the anxiety moved from the fear of neurological diseases over to something that can probably be called "heart anxiety". This is something way worse than by BFS related anxiety back in 2009... I'm experiencing frequent and severe panic attacks and always feel concerend about my heart, even if I've been to numerous cardiologists who told me that everything is fine. In addition to that, I've started experiencing problems with concentrating, mental fatigue and some sort of light-headedness recently, which makes me think of an impending stroke or Alzheimer's Disease. Interestingly enough, I had the same symptoms back in June 2009 for a while and I also mentioned them here. I'm going to visit a psychiatrist next week because I've arrived at a point where this constant fear has started to impend my daily life. I don't know what to expect from the visit, after all I don't want to get on heavy medication, but maybe he can give me some advice how to at least avoid panic attacks. Well, this isn't exactly about BFS, I know - nevertheless, I guess I'll check back some time after the visit and let you know what the psychiatrist told me. I believe it would not be completely off-topic to discuss some means to fight health anxiety in general, even if it won't be directly related to BFS symptocs in this case.I wish all of you strength and optimism - don't despair!- Outlook1958

 

[BarbiePetals]

Good to hear from you. Its been awhile since I've seen you around.

 

[mymy16]

Thanks for taking the time to post on your progress. It is always good to hear from the "old timers". It really makes us newbies deal with this so much easier. Best of luck to you!Shelly

 

[Outlook1958]

Soo, I'm back from the psychiatrist. He recommended a therapy to get rid of health anxiety in general, however his schedule is full and thus he gave me the number of a local psychological center where they have lists of available therapists. In general, the way to go is a so-called "behavior therapy" where the therapist teaches you how to avoid anxiety and panic attacks with the power of your own mind and without any drugs. It is very time-intensive and can take months of recurring therapy sessions until it shows some effect, but it is generally regarded as a more healthy way to get rid of anxiety than taking strong drugs with possible side effects.Right now I'm not sure if I should get ino the whole therapy thing... It's time-intensive and somehow I think that it could make me feel depressed because a long term therapy would sure make me feel that something's really out of order. Of course I'd like to hear some advice about how to cope with health anxiety, be it fear of **S, heart attacks, or whatever. But on the other hand I don't want to see myself as a full-scale psychiatry patient.I still have time to decide wether I should start this whole thing or sort of make up my own mind. I mean... now that I've ended up at the psychiatrist's I somehow started thinking about my anxiety from a philosophilcal point of view. Look: If I'm about to do a therapy that is focussed solely on eliminating anxiety and it's symptoms, it automatically implies that I'm physically healthy - otherwise I would be at some other doctor's now, not the psychiatrist's. And if I'm physically healthy, why do I have to be scared of anything anyway? How would a therapy against anxiety help? It won't reduce or increase the risk of having some nasty disease, so basically nothing will change. Nothing. Health anxiety... is just the nothing else than a specific point of view, just a different focus on one and the same thing - your body and the stuff your body does. What about people who are scared of mice? Just put two people in a room - a person with fear of mice and a veterinary. Then add a mouse. The mouse-anxious person will scream and run away from the mouse, while the vet will either just watch it or even show some interest towards it. Same mouse, two different points of view. The mouse is objective and neutral. The probability that the mouse will suddenly turn into a giant monster and try to eat one of the people is equal, no matter what they think about it.Isn't all of this just a preposterous trick of our own mind?Well, sorry for the babble - I was just sort of thinking aloud.