Hello All,
First off, I'm new here and am really glad I found this board. It is a great feeling to know that I'm not alone. Anyway, too my story.
Currently, I'm a 40 year old professional male with a wife and 2 children. Unfortunately, some past ghosts of anxiety are creeping back into my life and I don't want that to happen.
Back in 1999, I was out in Las Vegas giving a professional presentation and happen to catch a snippet on the news about Catfish Hunter and his diagnosis of ALS. Now, I'm kind of a worry-wart, and this little incident precipitated a 6 month journey through a personal hell.
I've always been a little twitchy, and have had them for many years, but this took me over the edge. I immediately became convinced that this is what I had and I was going to die...period. Upon my return, I immediately made an appointment with my physician at the urging of my wife. He did a thorough physical and nuerological examination and said my symptoms were related to anxiety and prescribed Xanax. Of course, I was unconvinced. I went back a second time, same conclusion but he agreed to refer me to a Neurologist. The neurologist came to the same conclusion and presribed Paxil. After 3 days, this medication did more harm than good and caused severe myclonus upon my trying to fall asleep. This led to 4 straight days of sleeplessness that resulted in a syncopal-like episode (I passed out) and resulted in my being taken to the Emergency Room. The Neuro who saw me before saw me again and did another THOROUGH neurological exam and came to the same conclusion. However, he ordered an MRI, EEG, EMG and an EKG...it was a testing hell. After 1 day in the hospital, all these tests came back normal but the jerking caused by the medication continued. He referred me to another Neuro that did a sleep study and ANOTHER THOROUGH neuro examination. Sleep study and examinations were of course, normal.
To make a long story short, the first half of 1999 was horrible. I thought I was dying and not until 2000 did things get back to normal and I just lived with the twitching.
Well, after turning 40 in October I've seemed to twitch more, but in reality I think I'm noticing it more. Shortly before Valentines day, I noticed an irritating waxing/waning twitch in my left tricep plus another less severe one in my right quadricep in my leg.
I'm obsessing again. Not even 5 years ago, I went through this, and it feels like it is coming on again. I visited my doctor, and he straight out said "What are the odds, that you have ALS, after such incredible testing you went through not too long ago? What are the odds of you having a self-fullfilling prophecy? I can tell by looking at you, that you don't have it, it is anxiety and they are benign."
Well, I'm half convinced, but I could really use some help. Now, I know, the rational part of my mind has done the math. The odds are super slim. Plus, I have no weakness, I do taekwondo, balance is fine, etc.
After all the testing, not too long ago, and considering my history, I shouldn't worry. But I do. When that happens, twitches are worse, hot spots stay longer.
Suggestions appreciated and encouraged. Sorry for the long post, but I had to vent, and this seemed the place to do it.
Thanks much and God bless.
BTS
First off, I'm new here and am really glad I found this board. It is a great feeling to know that I'm not alone. Anyway, too my story.
Currently, I'm a 40 year old professional male with a wife and 2 children. Unfortunately, some past ghosts of anxiety are creeping back into my life and I don't want that to happen.
Back in 1999, I was out in Las Vegas giving a professional presentation and happen to catch a snippet on the news about Catfish Hunter and his diagnosis of ALS. Now, I'm kind of a worry-wart, and this little incident precipitated a 6 month journey through a personal hell.
I've always been a little twitchy, and have had them for many years, but this took me over the edge. I immediately became convinced that this is what I had and I was going to die...period. Upon my return, I immediately made an appointment with my physician at the urging of my wife. He did a thorough physical and nuerological examination and said my symptoms were related to anxiety and prescribed Xanax. Of course, I was unconvinced. I went back a second time, same conclusion but he agreed to refer me to a Neurologist. The neurologist came to the same conclusion and presribed Paxil. After 3 days, this medication did more harm than good and caused severe myclonus upon my trying to fall asleep. This led to 4 straight days of sleeplessness that resulted in a syncopal-like episode (I passed out) and resulted in my being taken to the Emergency Room. The Neuro who saw me before saw me again and did another THOROUGH neurological exam and came to the same conclusion. However, he ordered an MRI, EEG, EMG and an EKG...it was a testing hell. After 1 day in the hospital, all these tests came back normal but the jerking caused by the medication continued. He referred me to another Neuro that did a sleep study and ANOTHER THOROUGH neuro examination. Sleep study and examinations were of course, normal.
To make a long story short, the first half of 1999 was horrible. I thought I was dying and not until 2000 did things get back to normal and I just lived with the twitching.
Well, after turning 40 in October I've seemed to twitch more, but in reality I think I'm noticing it more. Shortly before Valentines day, I noticed an irritating waxing/waning twitch in my left tricep plus another less severe one in my right quadricep in my leg.
I'm obsessing again. Not even 5 years ago, I went through this, and it feels like it is coming on again. I visited my doctor, and he straight out said "What are the odds, that you have ALS, after such incredible testing you went through not too long ago? What are the odds of you having a self-fullfilling prophecy? I can tell by looking at you, that you don't have it, it is anxiety and they are benign."
Well, I'm half convinced, but I could really use some help. Now, I know, the rational part of my mind has done the math. The odds are super slim. Plus, I have no weakness, I do taekwondo, balance is fine, etc.
After all the testing, not too long ago, and considering my history, I shouldn't worry. But I do. When that happens, twitches are worse, hot spots stay longer.
Suggestions appreciated and encouraged. Sorry for the long post, but I had to vent, and this seemed the place to do it.
Thanks much and God bless.
BTS
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