AndyStreams
Well-known member
it's weird. As soon as you don't have anxiety, you have a rational reason for why you don't have it. But when you do have it, rational thinking doesn't always help, you know (though it does sometimes...)
For example, at the onset of the Iraq war, I was pretty convinced some terrorist *beep* was about to go down. I was shaken by 9/11, by the obvious tragedy and horror of it all, and the fact that my sister lived in NYC at the time and like many, her apartment was surrounded with the debris that filled the air that morning. I had the worst feeling back in March of 03, linked with distress over the soldiers and iraqis that were surely going to die, and about an attack that I saw as inevitable. I watched planes in the sky as I drove around boston, I read about nuclear, chemical and all the other potentially horrific scenarios out there. And, like medical stuff, there are PLENTY of books, websites and other media that play off of fear.
People would say "I just accept that it's a risk of life, but I won't let it control me." That stuff is easy to say, but you can't just say it and it goes away. I just figured most of those people didn't think about it as much as I did, and if they were really aware of all the dangers around, they would be in worse shape than I was in.
I was taking trips to DC and NYC in part just to prove to myself that I wouldn't let anxiety control me, but the whole time I was there I was uneasy. The normal noises and suspicions of those places (I was born in DC, live in Boston, spent alot of time in NYC) become more noticeable, the normal ruckus seems more unsettling. But soon, I realized that a few months of my life were spent dealing with anxiety, when nothing happened. I didn't have to be nervous on that plane to NYC or that bus to DC. It turned out fine.
Now, I'm one of those people that says "I just accept that it's a risk of life, but I won't let it control me."
Now, the reason I'm going into all this detail about how I was freaked out about this ostensibly new threat in American life, is that the same model I think is applicable to our medical condition. You think about things rationally and you wait. You tell yourself, "allll these people online have twitched in the same place I'm twitching. They're all okay. I'm okay." After a while, it just becomes part of your life.
The other day I was thinking how my toes didn't twitch as much anymore, and they were always what twitched the most for me. Then I looked down at them, and they were twitching as I was thinking that. Once I thought about it, I noticed them, I felt them, etc. But it happens so often, that my conscious mind doesn't even register it.
But my mind still acknowledges the eye twitches, the bicep jumps, the buzzing leg, the finger hot spots, etc. Every now and then a new hot spot will shake me up, and twitching in my face ALWAYS drives me nuts. But for the most part, it is time that has made a lot of my anxiety dissipate. I'm on my eleventh month. Almost a year of twitching; if this was als I would friggin know it by now.
That's not saying my mind is totally at ease, I don't want to put up a front like I'm okay. I still have big concerns, and non twitching symptoms still throw me through a friggin loop (i hate tingling that lasts for more than a few seconds), but I'm not bogged down by anxiety.
You're totally onto something with the "keep yourself occupied" thing. The best my twitching has ever been was during an insanely busy 2 weeks at work this past summer. In reality, my twitching was going nuts cuz I was stressed and not sleeping much, but I was so busy and there were so many things going on, that I didn't have time to notice it. I didn't have the luxury of caring about a friggin twitch or googing symptoms.
But it shouldn't have to be like that; keep yourself busy with leisure too. Relax, watch an engaging movie, go for a bike ride. And I'm sure EyeoftheWild will suggest a few ways your boyfriend can help.
Alcohol bothered me for a while. I quit for a few months and now I'm enjoying beer again. And this stuff strained my relationship too. Now we're still strained, but at least it's not about dumb health things, it's about dumb relationship things.
Ha, I started this digression about terro-anxiety to prove a point, now I'm just digressing into nothing, so I'll stop this post. Stay engaged, occupied, rational and positive for long enough and the anxiety will fade with time.
For example, at the onset of the Iraq war, I was pretty convinced some terrorist *beep* was about to go down. I was shaken by 9/11, by the obvious tragedy and horror of it all, and the fact that my sister lived in NYC at the time and like many, her apartment was surrounded with the debris that filled the air that morning. I had the worst feeling back in March of 03, linked with distress over the soldiers and iraqis that were surely going to die, and about an attack that I saw as inevitable. I watched planes in the sky as I drove around boston, I read about nuclear, chemical and all the other potentially horrific scenarios out there. And, like medical stuff, there are PLENTY of books, websites and other media that play off of fear.
People would say "I just accept that it's a risk of life, but I won't let it control me." That stuff is easy to say, but you can't just say it and it goes away. I just figured most of those people didn't think about it as much as I did, and if they were really aware of all the dangers around, they would be in worse shape than I was in.
I was taking trips to DC and NYC in part just to prove to myself that I wouldn't let anxiety control me, but the whole time I was there I was uneasy. The normal noises and suspicions of those places (I was born in DC, live in Boston, spent alot of time in NYC) become more noticeable, the normal ruckus seems more unsettling. But soon, I realized that a few months of my life were spent dealing with anxiety, when nothing happened. I didn't have to be nervous on that plane to NYC or that bus to DC. It turned out fine.
Now, I'm one of those people that says "I just accept that it's a risk of life, but I won't let it control me."
Now, the reason I'm going into all this detail about how I was freaked out about this ostensibly new threat in American life, is that the same model I think is applicable to our medical condition. You think about things rationally and you wait. You tell yourself, "allll these people online have twitched in the same place I'm twitching. They're all okay. I'm okay." After a while, it just becomes part of your life.
The other day I was thinking how my toes didn't twitch as much anymore, and they were always what twitched the most for me. Then I looked down at them, and they were twitching as I was thinking that. Once I thought about it, I noticed them, I felt them, etc. But it happens so often, that my conscious mind doesn't even register it.
But my mind still acknowledges the eye twitches, the bicep jumps, the buzzing leg, the finger hot spots, etc. Every now and then a new hot spot will shake me up, and twitching in my face ALWAYS drives me nuts. But for the most part, it is time that has made a lot of my anxiety dissipate. I'm on my eleventh month. Almost a year of twitching; if this was als I would friggin know it by now.
That's not saying my mind is totally at ease, I don't want to put up a front like I'm okay. I still have big concerns, and non twitching symptoms still throw me through a friggin loop (i hate tingling that lasts for more than a few seconds), but I'm not bogged down by anxiety.
You're totally onto something with the "keep yourself occupied" thing. The best my twitching has ever been was during an insanely busy 2 weeks at work this past summer. In reality, my twitching was going nuts cuz I was stressed and not sleeping much, but I was so busy and there were so many things going on, that I didn't have time to notice it. I didn't have the luxury of caring about a friggin twitch or googing symptoms.
But it shouldn't have to be like that; keep yourself busy with leisure too. Relax, watch an engaging movie, go for a bike ride. And I'm sure EyeoftheWild will suggest a few ways your boyfriend can help.
Alcohol bothered me for a while. I quit for a few months and now I'm enjoying beer again. And this stuff strained my relationship too. Now we're still strained, but at least it's not about dumb health things, it's about dumb relationship things.
Ha, I started this digression about terro-anxiety to prove a point, now I'm just digressing into nothing, so I'll stop this post. Stay engaged, occupied, rational and positive for long enough and the anxiety will fade with time.