before my wide spread faciculations started at the end of March. I would drive around Staten Island and be amazed and jelous of all the manions and very georgous homes that have been buit in my area over the past few years. I would say to myself. Wow to have that kind of money and to have my children grow up in homes that large consumed my thoughts. Each time my son had a playdate with a school mate and i pulled up to a manion. I would look at my son and imagine that he was thinking wow mom why cant our home look like that (he never said this ) i just thouht it. By the way my home is fine. I just seem to be surrounded by great wealth in this community. Now I'll make my point. You can sleep in a 3 million dollar home in a custom 500,000 bed with european sheets in your bedroom suite with jacuzzi and magnificent view and if you dont have sucurity and peice of mind you have nothing. I have a beautiful family but my security and peice of mind is now shattered. I just want to go back to the simple time when all i thought about was home come everone around here is making millions except us. I'll never compare or complain about such *beep* again.
Thoughts of Wealthy Mansions on Staten Island
- Thread starter Chris2
- Start date
EyeoftheWild
Well-known member
An interesting observation Chris2. I live in a mansion and it is a pretty droll life really, no biggie. I was the opposite. Before bfs I would look with envy at those who had less than me, and wish I could return to the simple life. I just couldn't appreciate what I had. So, for awhile, I was just glad to be alive and took full advantage of my swimming pool and the martinis the servants would bring. Heck, I even began visiting my wife in her wing of the mansion, something I hadn't done in years. I discovered the kids had grown up, hated me, but were still happy to use my money to buy ecstasy and go clubbing. I think ecstasy is morally reprehensible, and not nearly so respectable and refined as getting hosed.
Once I came to terms with the BFS thing, I became disenchanted again. I mean I was fine, just fine...how boring is that. I now find myself longing for the simple life again, not quite monkdom, but something a little less ostentatious than my present 10,000 sq feet. I'd hate to give up the wine cellar though...ugh, will I never be happy.
just thinking about stuff, have a good one...I guess,
Basso
Once I came to terms with the BFS thing, I became disenchanted again. I mean I was fine, just fine...how boring is that. I now find myself longing for the simple life again, not quite monkdom, but something a little less ostentatious than my present 10,000 sq feet. I'd hate to give up the wine cellar though...ugh, will I never be happy.
just thinking about stuff, have a good one...I guess,
Basso
ristinaL91
Well-known member
Christinesi,
I am going to ignore Basso's post for a moment here. I know what you are saying , the fear of losing what you have really makes you realize WHAT you actually have, and what is really freaking important. Sorry for the run on sentence....I am just trying to tell you that i agree.
Before Bfs came my way, I was plugging along...thinking that every thing would be better if only I had this, if the kids did that, if my huband would only etc.....you know. Then all of a sudden you think that you will be taken out of the picture (and in a horrible way no less),.....and it starts to look real sweet to you. Please God, I will never complain again....I realize just what I have now....I take it all back.
Then you realize that you are going to be o.k. Such a wonderful gift , it is what you do after that that matters the most. Will you keep those promises and see that everything is sweet, and that your life with all of its problems is wonderful. and not to be ever taken for granted again. Will you enjoy that gift, or go back to your old ways? Glad that you will never do it again, neither will I.
I am going to enjoy the gift, because I now get "IT" that one thing that Curly was talking about in City Slickers....and it took BFS for me to get it , but I now do.
Basso, I am laughing so hard at your post. I would like your pool boy to bring me a martini, though. Who would care to join me? Cheers.
ristinaL91
I am going to ignore Basso's post for a moment here. I know what you are saying , the fear of losing what you have really makes you realize WHAT you actually have, and what is really freaking important. Sorry for the run on sentence....I am just trying to tell you that i agree.
Before Bfs came my way, I was plugging along...thinking that every thing would be better if only I had this, if the kids did that, if my huband would only etc.....you know. Then all of a sudden you think that you will be taken out of the picture (and in a horrible way no less),.....and it starts to look real sweet to you. Please God, I will never complain again....I realize just what I have now....I take it all back.
Then you realize that you are going to be o.k. Such a wonderful gift , it is what you do after that that matters the most. Will you keep those promises and see that everything is sweet, and that your life with all of its problems is wonderful. and not to be ever taken for granted again. Will you enjoy that gift, or go back to your old ways? Glad that you will never do it again, neither will I.
I am going to enjoy the gift, because I now get "IT" that one thing that Curly was talking about in City Slickers....and it took BFS for me to get it , but I now do.
Basso, I am laughing so hard at your post. I would like your pool boy to bring me a martini, though. Who would care to join me? Cheers.
ristinaL91
I also Live in a mansion and drive a Ferarri. I do not look back at all on this. As long as I have that beautifull house and sweet car, who cares what ills come upon me. 
ristinaL91, Good post! I hear ya! No need to fret about superifcial stuff. As long as you give your kids love, food, and a roof over their head, you are doing fine.
ristinaL91, Good post! I hear ya! No need to fret about superifcial stuff. As long as you give your kids love, food, and a roof over their head, you are doing fine.
EyeoftheWild
Well-known member
Okay,the mansion post didn't quite resonate the way I was hoping. I have to admit, my humour has become so high brow, that even I am scratching my head wondering what I mean.
You don't find me funny forum..huh, well don't ya?You...don't...find...me....fricking fudging farting funny? Fine, how about a serious post.
Hehem, here goes. I believe that, in my case, it is my old life that led me to BFS. Therefore, now that the shock of.."OMG, I'm going to die (much pathetic sobbing at this point), I'll never see my kids grow up, I'll never boink my wife again (oh wait, we've stopped doing that anyway), is over...I want so much more out of my life. The "quo" can have their vaunted "status," I want out of the box. I want to have my spirit soar, sing too loudly for polite company, run through a sprinkler, stop to hear a particularly beautiful birds song. I want to fall in love again, and again, and again; and I am doing it too. A life-time of drudgery is no life at all, even if you live to be a hundred. I am not talking about abandoning the life you have, just viewing it differently and setting new parameters. Parameters that are based on self-worth, and an acknowledgement that we deserve NOT to beggar our soul in service to others. We do not diminish the ones we love, by valuing ourselves more. Life is not a party, it is a miracle, and we are part of this miraculous whole.
Basso
You don't find me funny forum..huh, well don't ya?You...don't...find...me....fricking fudging farting funny? Fine, how about a serious post.
Hehem, here goes. I believe that, in my case, it is my old life that led me to BFS. Therefore, now that the shock of.."OMG, I'm going to die (much pathetic sobbing at this point), I'll never see my kids grow up, I'll never boink my wife again (oh wait, we've stopped doing that anyway), is over...I want so much more out of my life. The "quo" can have their vaunted "status," I want out of the box. I want to have my spirit soar, sing too loudly for polite company, run through a sprinkler, stop to hear a particularly beautiful birds song. I want to fall in love again, and again, and again; and I am doing it too. A life-time of drudgery is no life at all, even if you live to be a hundred. I am not talking about abandoning the life you have, just viewing it differently and setting new parameters. Parameters that are based on self-worth, and an acknowledgement that we deserve NOT to beggar our soul in service to others. We do not diminish the ones we love, by valuing ourselves more. Life is not a party, it is a miracle, and we are part of this miraculous whole.
Basso
ristinaL91
Well-known member
Basso,
Now, that is a beautiful post. I love your thoughts. After our initial scare we don't look at life in the same old way. It is like a someone has adjusted the tuning and taken new pictures .......it is just a different attitude, I like it.
I am glad that you are so full of joy, it seems to be contagious.
ristinaL91
Now, that is a beautiful post. I love your thoughts. After our initial scare we don't look at life in the same old way. It is like a someone has adjusted the tuning and taken new pictures .......it is just a different attitude, I like it.
I am glad that you are so full of joy, it seems to be contagious.
ristinaL91
Hmmm...not sure. People are funny. In one moment they have tremendous fear and, once it is lifted, they believe a major change has occured but it really has not. I have experienced that. When life returns to "normal" the tendancy is to return to past thinking.
It's very hard to remain in a humble state. When you pull up to a mansion it's normal to feel desire, longing for more. It's also easy to assume that the owners of the mansion don't have joy and don't appreciate their wealth...this is stereotyping. They may be appreciative and joyful for their lot. They may drink down the moment much more deeply than you or me.
So perhaps it is better in the moment to admit it and not make one case better or worse than the next. "I feel jealous. I wish I had more. I wish my husband would get off of the couch and earn a few million." It's cool. Just feel it. And when you hug your child feel that too. When you take a bite of pizza, taste it. It's all good, in love, in the moment.
Oh, btw, this is not crap. It's all together true though it is incredibly difficult to live out. Sorting through a filter of experience is no picnic.
Mark
It's very hard to remain in a humble state. When you pull up to a mansion it's normal to feel desire, longing for more. It's also easy to assume that the owners of the mansion don't have joy and don't appreciate their wealth...this is stereotyping. They may be appreciative and joyful for their lot. They may drink down the moment much more deeply than you or me.
So perhaps it is better in the moment to admit it and not make one case better or worse than the next. "I feel jealous. I wish I had more. I wish my husband would get off of the couch and earn a few million." It's cool. Just feel it. And when you hug your child feel that too. When you take a bite of pizza, taste it. It's all good, in love, in the moment.
Oh, btw, this is not crap. It's all together true though it is incredibly difficult to live out. Sorting through a filter of experience is no picnic.
Mark
EyeoftheWild
Well-known member
I have to say "Uhmmmm" to your "Hmmmmm." Living in the moment, I think, is an almost impossible task. On observation, it would seem that as a moment passes, our experience becomes the past, and the next moment coming is our future. It is like running across a lake that has stepping-stones, one touches them briefly, but moves on. If one tarries in the moment as times moves, then one can lose their balance and fall into the gap.
So, as the pendulum swings from our past to our future, it is there where the gift of joy inhabits, it is this space in our life which when filled, is fulfilling. The "joy" is like the triangular beam of a flashlight, illuminating our past to our future simultaneously.
The "living in the moment," I believe, is illusory; except for very rare moments. Lovers experience this in "timeless moments" where, for a time, an all encompassing extended moment is bestowed on the star-struck pair. A kiss on the beach can stop time, when two soul-mates, their fates intertwined at the dawning of time itself, revel, really and truly in the moment.
So, to these moments that comprise our lives there is moment-um. A coursing of time that leads from the past into our uncertain, yet miraculous future. The pizza taste becomes a past memory, even as that first yum issues from eager lips, and the anticipation of the next bite becomes our future. Movement, back and forth, lends nuance to our lives, and even besotted counterparts must obey this movement. For our hearts and souls ache to move our love between heaven and earth.
Basso
So, as the pendulum swings from our past to our future, it is there where the gift of joy inhabits, it is this space in our life which when filled, is fulfilling. The "joy" is like the triangular beam of a flashlight, illuminating our past to our future simultaneously.
The "living in the moment," I believe, is illusory; except for very rare moments. Lovers experience this in "timeless moments" where, for a time, an all encompassing extended moment is bestowed on the star-struck pair. A kiss on the beach can stop time, when two soul-mates, their fates intertwined at the dawning of time itself, revel, really and truly in the moment.
So, to these moments that comprise our lives there is moment-um. A coursing of time that leads from the past into our uncertain, yet miraculous future. The pizza taste becomes a past memory, even as that first yum issues from eager lips, and the anticipation of the next bite becomes our future. Movement, back and forth, lends nuance to our lives, and even besotted counterparts must obey this movement. For our hearts and souls ache to move our love between heaven and earth.
Basso
ytewestGo99
Well-known member
I think a lot of my twitching came from the stresses of trying to keep up or prove something. I wanted to have more for my kids and show my family that I could really be someone or something. I dropped out of high school and workeda lot of dead end jobs. I finally got sick of it and went to Junior College where I studied Math, Physics, Computer Science, Electronics Technology and started making better money. My goal was to pursue a career as a computer programmer (which I am to some degree), to get at least a Bachelor's Degree and make a 6 figure salary. Needless to say, no one else expected that of me. AFter having BFS and thinking I was sying from ALS instead, I figured out how frail life really is and what really counts is who and not what you are. I live in the Bay Area in California. I'm raising my kids on an $83,000/yr salary and for those in CA, you know that is NOT a lot of money. I have friends who have acchieved their BS in Computer SCience and still aren;t making that much as well as having to pay back HUGE student loans. I'm not sure I could ever afford a home here but I can afford to appreciate my children and every breath of life I take. I can learn to appreciate that God has spared me from a dreadful disease and given me 2 children to love. I can appreciate that I have a lot of hobbies like computer programming, biking, music, etc. I thinl the only mark I care to leave in this world is that of being a good father to my children.
Kinda funny, as I was talking to my counselor about all of the things I HAD TO DO in life, he let me finish my rant and looked straight in my eye and said ... "says who"? ... um ... me ? ... uh .... I guess nobody expects this of me, I'm just being too hard on myself ... wow ... 2 simple little words ... "says who?" ... changed my life
Kinda funny, as I was talking to my counselor about all of the things I HAD TO DO in life, he let me finish my rant and looked straight in my eye and said ... "says who"? ... um ... me ? ... uh .... I guess nobody expects this of me, I'm just being too hard on myself ... wow ... 2 simple little words ... "says who?" ... changed my life
GinniferLynne
Well-known member
I honestly count my blessings every day now. Funny thing, my "blessings" are not just what I have, but that I am able to ride horses, walk, put make up on, little simple stuff like that. I never took the time before this twitching to be thankful for being able to do things like this.
Ginny
Ginny