Struggling with Obsessive Symptoms

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bfhopeful2

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OK, I know I said I was going to stay away from this board for a while, and I did for a few days, but I can't seem to stop obsessing. I have seen a phychiatrist and I am on medication, I also see a therapist once a week and am working on it that way as well.I just feel like my symptoms are getting more frequent. They are moving to my upper body. I have them in my ribs, back arms and shoulders. I am back to the *** thing even though I have had a clean EMG. I even know how an EMG works although I still think I may have taken it too early. I booked an appointment with an *** specialist hoping that it will clear my insanity once and for all. Unfortunately the first available appointment isn't until August 10th. I notice myself for the first time doing self testing, walking on my heels, my toes, jumping rope, walking up stairs etc. Why is it so hard to accept that it can just be BFS? Can anyone share how they made the decision to accept it and just stick with it?
 
I wish I could help but I am in the same boat as you. I feel I can't accept BFS either. I just feel there is a cause for all this yet no doctor can seem to help. I try to control the anxiety but it doesn't work. My mind wonders back to all the bad diseases. If someone can truely give me advice on how to stop obsessing I would love to hear it because so far nothing has worked. Sure I calm down for a few days then my anxiety goes through the roof all over again. Can anyone really help us? I dont know.
 
The prospect of having such a disease like *** is very scary because you are done. There is no upside. I even think that MS is a better diagnosis by far. Hell, I rather have HIV. Who would think that I would ever say that? Not me. The fact that is no ironic though is that I've never even been diagnosed with *** yet somehow my mind keeps telling me I have it. I am hoping the *** specialist can finally put my mind at ease. I have seen a neuro before, but they were not specialists in the thing. So my theory is that if I see the best of the best in my area and I have been twitching for months before I see him that he would have to find something if it were present, but will I even accept it then? I hope so.
 
I think you will come to accept it. I really don't think I have ALS but the mind plays tricks on you. I do think I have "something" but that is the million dollar question that we all have. I'm sure your specialist will be able to put the ALS fear behind you. With me even though I had put that fear behind me, tons of other fears flew into my head (tumors, cancer, some unknown disease) you get the picture. If only the doctors had some clue I would be o.k. Hang in there and know you are not alone in this. Tons of us here are in the same place or have been in the same place as you. :)~Leslie
 
Hi Jeff,Good to see you back after your vacation from the board!.For me, breaking the obsession element of BFS was the biggest achievement of them all.In the beginning, I needed to force my mind into non BFS stuff, things that demanded total concentration and that prevented me from thinking about this stuff.Here are my suggestions, maybe they will help you.1. Work out. Youll find that when you are exercising your mind is off BFS. 2. Job issues. Try to focus a little bit more on your job issues, they take away your mind from BFS.3. Get a new girlfriend. Try it, youll forget about this at least temporarily. And the best way to do it is socializing, call your friends and go to a club or something, meet new people, have some company, when you focus on others and not on you, youll feel relived.4. Spend good time with you kids, go the movies, anything you can imagine that its enjoyable for them and for you. That also helped me a lot when I was 100% Obssesed about this.The good part is that, at first , you have to force your mind away from BFS, give it some time and it will come naturally. Be patient,you are on the right track. One last thought, "BFS +Anxiety over it" and just "BFS" are two different entities,two separate universes way different from each other, once you get to the point I am, youll feel like banging your head to the wall for being so dumb and letting this twitching consumed you for some time. Your mind is a very powerful tool, see it for yourself.Best Wishes,Eduardo
 
Jeff,We have had (and very recently too) long convos about this...and you know your answer...but as your friend...I'm going to yell it at you again. :p The time frame of "acceptance" is different for everyone...and YOU are the only deciding factor in your personal time frame. Some accept it in a week, some it takes years. You have to beat the anxiety and the obsession...and we both know that you can do that. Hunny its not easy...far from it, but there are so many more important things for you to worry about. You are a big, tuff guy...muscle twitches can not and will not hurt you...although the anxiety can...and is. I suggest finding something else to obsess about.... ;) Teach me Jiu-jitsu. :) **H's & K's**~*~Amy~*~
 
For me, in the beginning, I decided to play mental tricks on myself. Denial is a very powerful coping mechanism that is often given a bad name. When we have patients in the hospital who won't face their diagnosis/prognosis, we try to figure out how to gently bring them to a place of reality and acceptance. We speak of their denial as a problem to be overcome, rather than a blessing in disguise.But, what if, for us bfs'ers, it worked the other way? What if we gave ourselves permission to STAY in blissful denial? Let's just say, for argument's sake, that we DO have the dreaded disease, but decide to live our lives, ignorant of it? Why, we would go about our days as we always did; working, playing, exercising, enjoying life, making plans for the future. Eventually, because we DON'T have that disease, we would find that we've moved on with our lives, and left the obsession behind us. Anything you can do to change your thought pattern, DO IT. The above strategy worked for me, but maybe something else will help you. Even if you have to sing the song, "Mary had a little lamb," fifty times whenever you get an obsessive thought about **S, or do a crossword puzzle, or recite the "Pledge of Allegiance," backwards and standing on your head, do ANYTHING to re-direct your thoughts. And, it might behoove you to stay off the internet altogether. Do you play any kind of sport? Racket ball? Frisbee? Softball? Basketball? Or are you more the artsy musician type? Or perhaps you've always wanted to learn a particular language or trade? Now is the time to get re-acquainted with those things that once brought fun, joy, and fulfillment to your life. If you've never had such things, now is as good a time as ANY to start pursuing your greatest dreams, your deepest passions, your highest aspirations. It's awfully hard to think about fascics when your strong, healthy, capable arms are reaching for the stars. Blessings, Sue
 
thank you evevryone. i really appreciate your feedback. i do play sports and do a few times a week. i also ride my bike with my kids on the back. i try to go to the beach on the weekends and hang with family and friends at night. i live alone so sitting here watching tv by myself kind of sucks. the only thing is the more active i am the more i think the symtoms bother me. it could be just coincidence, but the day or two after a hard workout the twitches seem to be strong.i mean common sense would tell me that if i can spar 45 minutes straight and not really tire and do 50 pushups at any point in time and chase my kids, ride my bike 5 miles with no problem and jog 2 then I am ok. god i wish i had some common sense. :)
 
It is really about making a conscious decision to change your thought patterns. When you start to stray into that pattern of staring at your twitches or looking for them or letting your mind wander about it you have to consciously STOP. I used to have a song that I would sing in my head every time.. funny can't even remember it now...it was by U2. I used to also take a deep breath and say aaaaaaaah shyte! This is no different that if you had a physical weakness like after a stroke or a severe injury...you need to work on those activities that strengthen you. If this is about anxiety then you need to strengthen your mind. So instead of "self testing" your muscles, self test your brain. Start actively changing your thought patterns. I know it is easier said than done kiddo but it is a process and the sooner you begin the sooner you will achieve it. It took me a bit but it does work. It is just as easy to become OCD on good habits as bad habits if you try:)Smooches,Kit
 
Jeff- Eventually you're going to just get tired of this useless anxiety. Its bfs man. That's all it is. I used to obsess over the cause of it and was convinced there had to be something sinister causing it. But then I kept running my 5 miles, kept lifting my weights, kept getting better from the flare ups and calf pain and I just realized this is benign. Its not getting worse and I'm still strong. I know right where you are with this. Ed is right and so is Kit and the others. You've got to switch your mind off to this completely illogical conclusion. You've had an EMG and a neuro tell you, that you are fine. You work out and continue to do so. We can all tell you a million times you have bfs like all of us, but that reassurance only goes so far. You just have to accept it. Change your mindset, stay busy and refuse to think these thoughts. I'm telling you its a total waste of precious time here. As I told you the other day, I'd give my right *&^&% to rewind a two months ago and only have bfs to worry about.
 

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