agonroughrider
Active member
Nice pics...not sure what they mean though.
Questioning Nice Photos Meaning
- Thread starter agonroughrider
- Start date
Regardless of whether someone is boring or obsessing (we've all been there before), this forum is intended to inform, support and help each other. Sometimes, "tough love" is necessary to help a person get out of a rut, but ridicule/belittling will never be acceptable. Like I said in my initial post to the forum after being named moderator, i don't believe in censoring anyone's thoughts/feelings as long as they are not hurtful to others. In my opinion, some of you have nearly crossed the line in this thread. I'm all in favor of humor as long as it isn't at someone else's expense. Let's not make this board one which has to be monitored post by post....and if you're that bored, go do something else.
Gary
Gary
I stand 100% behind every comment I made to Tony.
A SANE person can only take being asked the SAME question so many times.
Tony's issue is not BFS and it's not ALS. His issue is completely different and way, way, way more complicated than any of us on this board can even begin to understand. He only CHOOSES to make the issue into ALS.
Yes, this board is for help and support. For helping and supporting those with BFS. This is not an MS, brain tumor, acne or in-grown toenail board. It is crystal clear to me that Tony does not belong here. He needs a team of mental health-care professionals.
Tony mentioned on Monday that he was going to set up an appointment 'sometime soon' with a counsellor. Sometime soon??? Either he is very disturbed or he is just yanking ALL our chains. If he really wanted to 'get better', he would have taken a cab directly to the counsellors office after seeing his Doctor last Friday.
DALE
A SANE person can only take being asked the SAME question so many times.
Tony's issue is not BFS and it's not ALS. His issue is completely different and way, way, way more complicated than any of us on this board can even begin to understand. He only CHOOSES to make the issue into ALS.
Yes, this board is for help and support. For helping and supporting those with BFS. This is not an MS, brain tumor, acne or in-grown toenail board. It is crystal clear to me that Tony does not belong here. He needs a team of mental health-care professionals.
Tony mentioned on Monday that he was going to set up an appointment 'sometime soon' with a counsellor. Sometime soon??? Either he is very disturbed or he is just yanking ALL our chains. If he really wanted to 'get better', he would have taken a cab directly to the counsellors office after seeing his Doctor last Friday.
DALE
ristinaL91
Well-known member
Dale,
Perhaps if you felt that you were the person that Gary was "speaking" to, you should have pm'd him your um..... response. I do know that you have a lack of patience with some people...well some people do heal and repair at different speeds. Some perhaps not at all.
Your response while defending yourself seemed to me to be a little hurtful at others expense. Not necessary. Just my 2 cents. And hey, usually you have some very valid points when you kinda stick to them....and haven't appointed yourself the Sheriff of Twitchingham here....
ristinaL91
Perhaps if you felt that you were the person that Gary was "speaking" to, you should have pm'd him your um..... response. I do know that you have a lack of patience with some people...well some people do heal and repair at different speeds. Some perhaps not at all.
Your response while defending yourself seemed to me to be a little hurtful at others expense. Not necessary. Just my 2 cents. And hey, usually you have some very valid points when you kinda stick to them....and haven't appointed yourself the Sheriff of Twitchingham here....
ristinaL91
GinniferLynne
Well-known member
It isn't just about finding a counselor, but finding the right counselor or mental health professional.
I had one that didn't listen and just wanted to know if the "Zoloft" was working and would usher me out of her office at $200.00 per session. The second one I tried wanted to go the "Freudian" route and his gaze made me more nervous than my twitching.
I think it is pretty simple. If a particular person's post bothers someone, then just don't reply.
Ginny
I had one that didn't listen and just wanted to know if the "Zoloft" was working and would usher me out of her office at $200.00 per session. The second one I tried wanted to go the "Freudian" route and his gaze made me more nervous than my twitching.
I think it is pretty simple. If a particular person's post bothers someone, then just don't reply.
Ginny
SonicSonic20
Well-known member
If I would have found this forum a year or two ago, I would have sounded just like him. I was obsessed and convinced that I had something terrible. Heck, I didn't have anyone for support. My family thought I was nuts, that I needed an anti-depressant because every test was negative and I still insisted something was wrong with me. Now, and for years..I keep it all to myslef, because nobody understands. I did print BFS in a nutshell for my mother to read. WELL I do have something....BFS. After 3 years with it, someone finally gave it a name.
I still obsess at times....I still think "what if"....what if the test missed something....
My heart goes out to him. Like my mom always said, and I teach my preschoolers in my class, "if you don't have anything nice to say....don't say anything." You can choose not to read his posts or not to respond.
Have a great day!
Amy
I still obsess at times....I still think "what if"....what if the test missed something....
My heart goes out to him. Like my mom always said, and I teach my preschoolers in my class, "if you don't have anything nice to say....don't say anything." You can choose not to read his posts or not to respond.
Have a great day!
Amy
Amy, if it still bothers you, why don't you get help? That's no way to live. Yes, you do have something, now go do something about it!
I agree that's a great thing to tell preschoolers. Can you imagine how quiet NYC would be if New Yorkers all followed that rule? Or, they'd have a city full of those gophers, Mac & Tosh from Looney Tunes...oh, let me hold the door...no, I insist you go first....oh no, please allow me...
Good health to you.
Dale
I agree that's a great thing to tell preschoolers. Can you imagine how quiet NYC would be if New Yorkers all followed that rule? Or, they'd have a city full of those gophers, Mac & Tosh from Looney Tunes...oh, let me hold the door...no, I insist you go first....oh no, please allow me...
Good health to you.
Dale
ristinaL91
Well-known member
Dale!! LOL, now I must take offense ...I live in New York, and have traveled all over the country. I am always glad to come home to New York...where everyone talks to you........and are so wonderfully colorful. Bum rap....New Yorkers are fabulous!
Amy..that is and always will be a great lesson. If their parents aren't teaching them, glad that you are....And while we are on the subject of common nicities, what about the simple little golden rule? Think of what would or would not have helped you when you were down and out, and at your lowest worried point and then post from that recollection.
ristinaL91
Amy..that is and always will be a great lesson. If their parents aren't teaching them, glad that you are....And while we are on the subject of common nicities, what about the simple little golden rule? Think of what would or would not have helped you when you were down and out, and at your lowest worried point and then post from that recollection.
ristinaL91
EyeoftheWild
Well-known member
Tony has received a huge trove of posts to his concern. Most have been serious and caring. Yet, he continues to post the "same question," the "same question," the "same question,"...okay, you get my point. It is annoying. Why? Well, because it shows that all efforts to this point have been in vain, and because it shows that he is not even trying. So, when people don't get one way of helping, then you try others. Those others include cajoling, tough love, humour, satire, trying to make him mad, and the like.
This is not about someone being at their lowest point, and kicking them when they are down. Dale is right, Tony is way beyond what can be offered over the internet.
I was teaching one of my 20 year old students at university today, and he has just been dx with cancer in his intestines. He has something to worry about, a real bona fide worry. Another student of mine just had a break down, and is now trying to get the right meds to control her newly dx bi-polar disorder.
I am almost at the point where I think you are jerking our collective chain; and I don't want you, a guy, doing that to me. My radar is going off big time.
Basso
PS: If he asks for your number, don't give it to him.
This is not about someone being at their lowest point, and kicking them when they are down. Dale is right, Tony is way beyond what can be offered over the internet.
I was teaching one of my 20 year old students at university today, and he has just been dx with cancer in his intestines. He has something to worry about, a real bona fide worry. Another student of mine just had a break down, and is now trying to get the right meds to control her newly dx bi-polar disorder.
I am almost at the point where I think you are jerking our collective chain; and I don't want you, a guy, doing that to me. My radar is going off big time.
Basso
PS: If he asks for your number, don't give it to him.
agonroughrider
Active member
Basso,
I am sorry if I have frustrated you and all others beyond belief. I resent your comment that I am not trying to get better...I REALLY AM! In fact, today, I met with a woman who works at the *** Association, which is across the street from my work. She is a nurse and I told her my concerns. She wasn't able to give medical advice, but assured me that I have done all the tests needed to rule out ***.
She was a kind lady who took time out of her day to talk with me. If I am really ticking everyone off, then I will leave the board. I do appreciate everyones help...and I am not jerking anyone around.
I AM TRYING MY BEST TO GET BETTER...I AM JUST NOT GOOD AT IT!
Hopefully I will get better at it.
I am sorry if I have frustrated you and all others beyond belief. I resent your comment that I am not trying to get better...I REALLY AM! In fact, today, I met with a woman who works at the *** Association, which is across the street from my work. She is a nurse and I told her my concerns. She wasn't able to give medical advice, but assured me that I have done all the tests needed to rule out ***.
She was a kind lady who took time out of her day to talk with me. If I am really ticking everyone off, then I will leave the board. I do appreciate everyones help...and I am not jerking anyone around.
I AM TRYING MY BEST TO GET BETTER...I AM JUST NOT GOOD AT IT!
Hopefully I will get better at it.
GinniferLynne
Well-known member
Amen, Amy.
Perhaps we are posting under the wrong forum? I have pm'd John Voorhis and asked him for a forum specifically for those of us that go through anxiety and bouts of worry.
I've been twitching for 2.7 years now. If the twitching would have remained in my calves without other "problems" cropping up here and there, I probably would have been in a better mental place than I am at present.
I agree that "tough love" is at times, needed. I sure have received that from some of my cyber friends and I DO appreciate it. But being prone to anxiety attacks, there are times when I need my friends on this board, and 99.9% of them have always come through (you all know who you are)
I would like to know why some people have appointed themselves "time police" and "forum police" on this board. I have not seen rhetoric like this since I joined the board over 2 years ago. At that time, there were people who had been twitching for years, had 3+ emgs, were seen (literally) by dozens of neuros and still posted about their anxiety. No one seemed to mind. To be honest, when I was a newbie, in a weird way it was comforting to know that others, even after long bouts of twitching, were feeling like I was. That my anxiety was somehow "justified" and I wasn't all alone in the way I felt.
Again, how hard is it to just ignore a post if someone is frustrating the h*ll out of you? Is a snide, rude comment that some feel that they just have to make that important to one's ego?
As far as "tough love", it isn't so much what you say, but HOW you say it.
Ginny
Perhaps we are posting under the wrong forum? I have pm'd John Voorhis and asked him for a forum specifically for those of us that go through anxiety and bouts of worry.
I've been twitching for 2.7 years now. If the twitching would have remained in my calves without other "problems" cropping up here and there, I probably would have been in a better mental place than I am at present.
I agree that "tough love" is at times, needed. I sure have received that from some of my cyber friends and I DO appreciate it. But being prone to anxiety attacks, there are times when I need my friends on this board, and 99.9% of them have always come through (you all know who you are)
I would like to know why some people have appointed themselves "time police" and "forum police" on this board. I have not seen rhetoric like this since I joined the board over 2 years ago. At that time, there were people who had been twitching for years, had 3+ emgs, were seen (literally) by dozens of neuros and still posted about their anxiety. No one seemed to mind. To be honest, when I was a newbie, in a weird way it was comforting to know that others, even after long bouts of twitching, were feeling like I was. That my anxiety was somehow "justified" and I wasn't all alone in the way I felt.
Again, how hard is it to just ignore a post if someone is frustrating the h*ll out of you? Is a snide, rude comment that some feel that they just have to make that important to one's ego?
As far as "tough love", it isn't so much what you say, but HOW you say it.
Ginny
I'll try to word this as politely as possible...you're wasting your keystokes on me. Save it for those who are ASKING for your help and support.
To those who are now jumping on the bandwagon in this thread, let me say this: I don't believe I've ever responded directly to one of your original posts. There's a reason for that. I CHOOSE not to talk to you.
So if my posts upset you, don't take it personally. Get over it. I'm not talking to you.
I'm finished with this thread.
Dale
To those who are now jumping on the bandwagon in this thread, let me say this: I don't believe I've ever responded directly to one of your original posts. There's a reason for that. I CHOOSE not to talk to you.
So if my posts upset you, don't take it personally. Get over it. I'm not talking to you.
I'm finished with this thread.
Dale
GinniferLynne
Well-known member
I see Suzi's point and Kl's, but obviously some individuals on this board have designated time limits as to when one should stop worrying, how they should stop worrying, ridiculing them when they worry, how many posts they make per day, etc.
So WHAT if someone wants hand holding for a period of time. This has certainly been part of the history of this board. Sometimes that is what it takes with certain individuals for a period of time. Just look at the archives. It wasn't the idea of a bunch of hand wringing people building up each other's anxiety, but a place where one can just express what there fears are.
When I made this suggestion to John, My ire was up from reading yesterday's post. My point is that an anxiety forum (which will more than likely not come to fruition) is where someone like Tony can feel free to post without being made to feel plain ole stupid.
So WHAT if someone wants hand holding for a period of time. This has certainly been part of the history of this board. Sometimes that is what it takes with certain individuals for a period of time. Just look at the archives. It wasn't the idea of a bunch of hand wringing people building up each other's anxiety, but a place where one can just express what there fears are.
When I made this suggestion to John, My ire was up from reading yesterday's post. My point is that an anxiety forum (which will more than likely not come to fruition) is where someone like Tony can feel free to post without being made to feel plain ole stupid.
ytewestGo99
Well-known member
I haven't read a lot of Tony's posts but I think I can just say this.
I have been in this obsessive state myself. It took a long time to get out of it. Part of the cure was noticing that I was pyssing everyone off. My doctor's mostly.
I believe that you have OCD and that you should start on Zoloft (or similar) and get some counseling. How do I know? personal experience.
Take some of that google time and google OCD and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Check out the self-help section of your local bookstore and do some useful research on OCD and Anxiety.
Get a good work book and go through it. Once you recognize the real enemy, you can fight him instead of chasing his diversions (i.e., your un-warranted fears about ***)
Sure it takes time ... months possibly, but you have nothing better to do and you certainly have the time. The sooner you start the better you will be.
I'd love to see you get out of this slump because I was in it up to about 6 months ago. You HAVE to be proactive in your own wellness. PLEASE post here as often as you need but give us some success stories to read too... we need to hear that, to mutually encourage each other .. that's what relationships are about, whether they are over the internet or not, they CANNOT be one-sided, one always needing help while the others expend themselves.
GO FOR IT, MAKE A MOVE, BE STRONG AND START KICKING SOME ASS !!!
We believe in you
I have been in this obsessive state myself. It took a long time to get out of it. Part of the cure was noticing that I was pyssing everyone off. My doctor's mostly.
I believe that you have OCD and that you should start on Zoloft (or similar) and get some counseling. How do I know? personal experience.
Take some of that google time and google OCD and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Check out the self-help section of your local bookstore and do some useful research on OCD and Anxiety.
Get a good work book and go through it. Once you recognize the real enemy, you can fight him instead of chasing his diversions (i.e., your un-warranted fears about ***)
Sure it takes time ... months possibly, but you have nothing better to do and you certainly have the time. The sooner you start the better you will be.
I'd love to see you get out of this slump because I was in it up to about 6 months ago. You HAVE to be proactive in your own wellness. PLEASE post here as often as you need but give us some success stories to read too... we need to hear that, to mutually encourage each other .. that's what relationships are about, whether they are over the internet or not, they CANNOT be one-sided, one always needing help while the others expend themselves.
GO FOR IT, MAKE A MOVE, BE STRONG AND START KICKING SOME ASS !!!
We believe in you
EyeoftheWild
Well-known member
Troy, I really didn't think I would post again on this thread, but the beauty of your sentiments has impelled me to do so. I just want to say that what you wrote, "was freaking beautiful."
While I am posting, I should like to clarify something. I was hard on Tony, and deliberately so. I never write in that way unless I have thought about it first. It was not intended to sully, besmirch, belittle, or make anyone feel uncomfortable about posting often about their own issues. Everyone is an individual and should be treated thus. I stand behind what I have written...well, because I have written it.
The internet can be tricky, for it has only one nature to it, that being a flat screen. In an effort to help others, emotions must be impressed upon and sometimes in a hard way. The austerity of having no food at all, can do wonders to galvanize what is relevant in one's life. I do not make apology for this, although it appeals more to my nature to stroke, rather than bludgeon. What can we go upon, but what is genuine in ourselves.
I like being a member of the bfs community, and it is my preference that my relations within the community are good. However, one mustn't live in fear of reprisals, or a "frowning brow," for that, in my opinion, is what brought about our bfs in the first place.
If someone can be provoked into recognizing their wellness, into realizing a small portion of the miracle of "them,"...then what I ask you, could be wrong with that?
Basso
While I am posting, I should like to clarify something. I was hard on Tony, and deliberately so. I never write in that way unless I have thought about it first. It was not intended to sully, besmirch, belittle, or make anyone feel uncomfortable about posting often about their own issues. Everyone is an individual and should be treated thus. I stand behind what I have written...well, because I have written it.
The internet can be tricky, for it has only one nature to it, that being a flat screen. In an effort to help others, emotions must be impressed upon and sometimes in a hard way. The austerity of having no food at all, can do wonders to galvanize what is relevant in one's life. I do not make apology for this, although it appeals more to my nature to stroke, rather than bludgeon. What can we go upon, but what is genuine in ourselves.
I like being a member of the bfs community, and it is my preference that my relations within the community are good. However, one mustn't live in fear of reprisals, or a "frowning brow," for that, in my opinion, is what brought about our bfs in the first place.
If someone can be provoked into recognizing their wellness, into realizing a small portion of the miracle of "them,"...then what I ask you, could be wrong with that?
Basso