Pregnant Mom and Anxiety

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Smiley20

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I am a 36 year old female, 13 weeks pregnant and mother of two lovely girls (3 and 5 yrs).Reading this site really helped me through the last three weeks and I decided to write my story to get some support. Still am going through ***-fear and it ist really difficult for me to do all the daily things one has to do and keep away the dark thoughts or do reflex-, strength- or other tests…My twitching started 9 weeks ago on top of a three month period of health anxiety when I was convinced suffering from a brain tumor. For two weeks I had registered twitching on my leg, abdomen and forearm but didn´t pay any attention to it. The my right thumb started twitching for 3 days more or less constantly and I felt some very fine twitches and buzzig on my tongue. I asked dr. google and guess what happened to me- I totally panicked did not sleep, not eat, and could noz get off the computer . Within two days nearly every part of my body twitched.My GP checked my reflexes ( brisk at hands and arms , but he said it might have been like this always) and diagnosed PNHE in relation to anxiety disorder. After three weeks I went to a neuro , she told me I am far too young for this disease and that she diagnosed some ***-cases none of them under 50 yrs. She did blood-tests(everythink ok), reflexes (normal everywhere) NCS and EMG of right hand, arm and calf. In EMG few fasciculations were seen but no PSA, fibs or something pathological. She told me that I don´t have *** and I to relax, sleep enioy my kids and take care of me and the new baby ( I did not sleep more than 3-4 hrs a night, lost 8 lb and was in a kind of fog since twitching started).All that calmed me for the rest of the day but the next day I was freaking out again, could not belive in what she told me and it all started again. I saw another neuro 2 weeks later, she did reflexes too (brisk everywhere but nothing to worry about she said), looked for atrophies and so on, told me that it was very unlikely to get *** my age and told me that fascics can be benign and increase with stress, anxiety and in pregnancy (BFS is not really common in Emilyomousey). She referred me to a psychologist for anxiety disorder and I have a follow up end of October when she will do another EMG- if I still want it for my own assurance.I went through a period of swallowing and speech ( no other person noticed) problems, and had perceived weakness in my right tigh, both went away after 2-3 weeks.Now weakness is starting again and it feels like my entire right side is weak, after walking, stairs or carrying something heavy the muscles feel tired and weak… and the muscle back of the thigh (Hamstring?)feels stiff and sore- that is what frightens me most at the moment. Twitching now happens in my legs most of the time but there are random twitches every other part of my body. Sometimes my calves or feet feel cramped and sometimes I have pain in my fingers, right shoulder or soles of my feet. I try to stay calm, enjoy my kids and go to psychotherapy every week now (feeling a little bit better since I started that) but it´s soooo hard……
 
The bottom line is that a passed clinical and an emg = no ALS.Many pregnant woman have posted on this board. And many newborn farthers aswell. When those kids come along, our body reacts strongly. Shortly after I became farther for the second time, the twitching volcanoed. As time passes, you will find a way to cope with this stuff. But dont expect it to disappear and dont expect that people would care at all. In their eyes you are well and fine as the doctors are ALWAYS right. If you still insist that there are something wrong, you are putting yourself in risk to loose your husband, your job and the respect from your kids down the road. No matter what, we have to preserve our dignity, which is perhaps the hardest part with this thing. People are dying outhere and who really give a S*** about people who dont listen to the doctors and whine about a disease they obvious dont have? I may be a little hard here, but the sooner you get rid of the anxiety the less problems will you have on the long run. Concentrate your effords on the kids. They are a gift and the most wonderfull distraction from health anxiety. And stay off the internet - even this site. The internet is like a palantír - the seing stone in The Lord of the Rings written by Tolkien. You never know who - or what - looks or posts on the other side of the screen. It gives you what you are looking for, but not the tools of understanding. We have doctors for that. Stay well and OFF the internet.
 
PLEASE stay off the internet!!!It can really highten your fears about your health... It can be a great resource, but can scare the sh_t out of you, as it has me....Health anxiety can just keep spiraling the more research you do. I know I had myself convinced I was dying... first MS, then A-S.....It can be very scary to think of the "what if's"... but what about the "what if it's not?"A lot of your weakness or perceived weakness could be due to the pregnancy as well... I had so many aches and pains especially with my third pregnancy. I am not currently pregnant anymore, but also have some twitching and achiness in my hands (more my right) and sometimes in my calves and feet (though gel inserts have helped a lot -- try them!) But there's a difference in true weakness vs... perceived weakness.... you could just be sore from something else.Hang in there, and enjoy your pregnancy and two small children... I know it's hard, I have been there and truly understand.You will be just fine!!!Andrea
 
fox and andreah,thank you for your replies!I do not go to the internet anymore, except for email and reading this site, and i actually never been to ***- forums or write in. In the first weeks i did a lot of "research" and that was not good for me, i stopped it. Reading this site helped me a lot and i like the way the members support and encourage each other. It is the feeling that you´re not the only one with this symptoms and thougts and that - one day - it will be possible to cope with all that and go on with "normal life".
 
Sylvia--On a happy note, Congrats on your 3rd pregnancy!! We too, have two girls (8 and 6) and had our son last year. He is a lot of fun, and is a busy little boy!!!You will love adding a third child to your family!!! Are you planning on finding out the sex of the baby? Try to enjoy your pregnancy... I had so many funny aches, pains, chest pains (which was just heart burn by the way!) with my son... maybe it's the 3rd pregnancy who knows!!!Good luck to you and enjoy your pregnancy!!!Andrea
 
Sylvia-You have received very sage advice. I completely agree with Fox's assessment of the internet--I have spoken to more than one doctor saying it has been nothing but destructive for people who have a symptom then try to self-diagnose before they even see a doctor. That is the whole set-up for not believing the expert (the doctor). You have read the worst of the worst and have convinced yourself that you must be part of that group.Health anxiety is tough to beat, I have it now thanks to my symptoms and my mistake of the internet. Since you are pregnant, you could try non-medication strategies first, like counseling focusing on behavior modification, yoga, mediation, books on how to cope with health anxiety etc. And your beautiful girls....always keep your focus on them. They are watching you, depending on you. Try your hardest to set a positive example.My best to you! :)
 
Thank you all for your replies!!!- andrea we are curious about the sex of the baby but if it not shows in ultrasound we decided to take it by surprise.... ( I think it is a boy)- momof2I had my first yoga lesson yesterday and i try to do everything to deal with my anxiousness. One day it´s better the other day it´s worse but the tendence is up! Since i stopped to google, tried to relax and enjoy the kids i feel better and i hope to get back all the energy and vitality i had before.- gregI am sure there is a connection between health anxiety, stress etc. and developing somatic symptoms and it is reported on this board very often. Notably all of my "brain tumor symptoms" never appeared again after the twitches ( and ***-fear) started....
 

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