Most people do not realize the amount of power that they have in influencing the quality of their experience in life events. We can feed our illusions of fear and create our worst nightmares or we can ground ourselves such that we whether the greatest of storms no worse for the wear. There are methods for accomplishing this and it does take work and commitment, but it is possible to change your ways to be more resilient. There are tools and techniques to learn mental discipline. There are tools and techniques to overcome fears and phobias. Some are quite simple and easy. Others take more time, commitment, and dedication. It all depends on the person and how rooted that fear or belief is. I will give an example. I have a 5 year old daughter who has always been somewhat afraid of bugs for some reason. She especially does not like bees, even though she has never been stung. She was in the garden with my wife one day and saw a bee, which really scared her. She went inside after this. Again, no stinging occurred. That night she had a nightmare that bees were attacking her. When she ran inside in her dream there were bees inside too. She woke up crying. Fear does this to people. It consumes them. She was so shaken by her nightmare that she was still thinking about it the next day when I picked her up after work. She told me almost first thing that she just could not get the bee dream out of her mind that day. When we got home I decided to try a visualization exercise that I had learned about in my hypnosis training. I am a certified hypnotist, but I don't practice professionally since I have a day job. It is more a hobby and interest of mine. Anyway, I had her sit in a comfortable chair when we got home and we were distraction free. I simply had her close her eyes and visualize that she was going back into that scary dream she had the night before. The look on her face when I told her what I wanted her to do was pretty telling. She did not want to do this. I told her that I was going with her and that we would be in there together and she was willing to try it at this point. I even held her hand as I talked her through it. I told her that this was her dream and that she could do anything she wanted. I told her that we were going to take the bee's stingers away from them so that they couldn't hurt us or anyone. Her mood calmed down even more. I told her we could change their mean faces and make them smile. She began to smile. The next thing you know she was suggesting that we make them into clown bees and she was laughing. I let her run with it. We had a few more fun 5 year old things with the bees and I had her open her eyes. The dream that had disturbed her all day long was now something to laugh about. She told my wife all about it when she got home and wasn't disturbed at all. That was a few months ago now and to this day she hasn't reacted the same way to bees. Even I am impressed at how quickly this fear seems to have dissipated. She's 5 years old and a lot more open and impressionable, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. The underlying ability to walk your perspective to a new angle though is just as real and effective for adults. We are much more stubborn and rooted in our beliefs. We explain away and justify our negativity as practicality. All this does is hold us back though. Most of the time we do such a good job at holding ourselves back that we don't realize we're doing it or we don't know how to undo what we have done. There are solutions and there is help though! You just need to pursue it.