Navigating Life with OCD and Anxiety

[markymark]

Hello all!! I have viewed this board for a while now but have not really posted on here until now. Just a quick background info, I am male 28 and have been twitching for three months. I have been diagnosed with OCD and Anxiety since the summer. It was a trying time as I was changing jobs, trying to buy a house, just had a kid and mom was diagnosed with liver and lung cancer which is terminal. Finally hit rock bottom and was put on some viibyrd which is an ssri which helped for a while. After about four weeks on the ssri I woke up one day with a twitch on the bridge of my nose that wouldn't go away. The next day I was twitching in both calves and feet and it was non stop. Its what all you fine people here call hot spots. Went to my neuro who is our team doctor and she thought it may be from the medicine because I had dilated pupils and teeth were chattering all the time to go along with the twitching. The pupils got better as did the teeth chattering; however, the twitching only got worse. At some point or another I have twitched on every part of my body. Top of the head, back of the head, side of the head, all over the face and eyes, shoulders, arms, private parts, legs feet ect. Went back to the neuro and she did a clinical and everything was fine. Reflexes in knee were a bit brisk but she didn't seem worried. Did an emg/ncv about 2 months into the twitching and it came back completely normal as did the MRI of the brain. No fasics and the doc was even surprised I didn't have any sign of carpal tunnel as she said many people show signs of it although very very mild cases when she does those tests. She told me to get my anxiety under control and that was that. No follow up or anything like that. Simply said you have been twitching for 2 months and you have a normal emg and completely strong, quit stressing over this and relax. I was doing well until about 2 weeks ago and read on here about the 6-12 mo rule on fasics and ruling out the big nasty. So that sent the anxiety into overdrive. Starting testing myself again. Actually tore my pec off my shoulder bench pressing weights the other day because I had 330 lbs on the bar. I felt it ripping but was the only one in the weight room so just had to push it on up. supposed to be in a sling for 8 weeks but already took it off because I couldn't do my job. The crazy thing is after hurting myself I felt good about it because I threw up that much weight. So knew I was strong. Dunked a basketball today so I feel like my legs are still explosive and strong. My left wrist is killing me and probably because im doing finger tip push ups all the time to test those. my fingers have recently started twitching a lot. But I feel like I have to do these all the time in order to prove to myself I'm okay. Started having burning sensations on my skin last week. Anyway I'm so sorry this is long but I have no family around and really needed to get this off my chest. Just thought that by now some of this should be better. In some ways it is. I no longer have hot spots. My twtitches are basically just a thump and they leave. But may thump on and off all day. like my tricep may twitch once and then not do it again for about 30 minutes. Then itll thump again. but they are all just a single twitch and not constant like they were. So besides having anxiety and beating myself to death, which I know is a problem, what do y'all think about this. I hope that all of you have a blessed day and thank you for taking the time to read.

 

[veryconfident321]

you have nothing to worry about clean emg and nero means you are cleared...you didn't even have fasiculations and trust me i had tons. if your nero isnt worried then i won't be either especially given everything else going on that you described. i have way worst bfs symptoms as do many others. i asked my nero that question of the 4-6 months rule and he said your chance of getting the something "nasty" is the same as before you started twitching because they are begnin...that's something most of us need to understand (me too). so i would try to relax. try being the key word as for benching and testing your strength to the point you tear something... stop doing that. its not a measure of strength its a matter of being able to perform a task...such as zipping up your jacket, walking on stairs, opening a bottle etc...i did the same thing and its nuts but i tottally understand what your going through there are many other senior members that would tell you the same thing and i suggest you read through their comments

 

[GlowGreen]

First of all, sorry you are going through such a tough time.You have anxiety, OCD, a lot of life-stress, a fear of ALS and are now obsessing about self-testing... It would be strange if you didn't twitch! The neurology investigations confirm there is nothing sinister going on. Everything about your story suggests the root cause is psychological, I wish you the best of luck with tackling that. Not easy, but thankfully not ALS.Lots of otherwise healthy twitchers here prove that fasciculations won't kill you and don't develop into anything else.GlowGreen

 

[veryconfident321]

do what many do when they take cognitive behavioural courses they ask "what are the facts and where is the evidence"...take a sheet of paper and on one side write down the facts about why you dont have alsthis should include: normal emg, normal nero, normal blood tests, a qualified dr told you you are ok and not to come back etc...and on the other side write down why you think you have als. the only things you have described those far are all bfs therefore the other side of the sheet should be blank or say my odds of getting it were the same before i started to twitch i agree with many here that anxiety is probably not the root cause for many peoples bfs but i do agree it makes it more pronounced many senior members have done much more research than i have and i suggest reading their post and keep reading them everytime you need some re-assurance i would reccomend de-stressing before anything

 

[markymark]

Hey all!!! Thanks so much for the responses. You all are right. I really need to get the de stressing and anxiety in order. With my anxiety it seems as I'll have some really good days for a while then I'll just have the one awful day (like today) where I feel like I have something when I really do not. Feels like I'll take a step forward and then take another step back and I'm getting nowhere. Many thanks for the info about the 4-6 mo thing. Really help set my mind at ease. Many thanks to all of ya with the information. That will be very helpful from here on out. Its just been a struggle as I usually talk to my mom about these things but she has enough stuff to worry about. And unless people deal with this stuff they just don't understand. Most of the support I get is simply to suck it up and go on. Which I do understand that, but I have put my mind down a path that I am struggling to recover from and it doesn't let me think logically all the time. Again many thanks guys. Keeping everyone here in my prayers for health and peace of mind.