Losing Control: OCD Thoughts

[KatherineKim]

Losing it. Can't stop obsessing about *you know what*. I felt better for about two days after I found this site but now I am back to this dark place...

I am lifting things all day long to monitor my strength. Balancing. Toewalking. Heelwalking. Doing the whole Ka ba ta la thing. Monitoring my twitches, convinced they aren't as severe as others on this board therefore they must be indicative of *you know what*.

Nothing convinces me. I keep thinking there must be some early phase of *you know what* that people don't talk about.

Yes, I do have an appointment with a shrinkerMD but it is not until the 22nd. I may be ready to be comitted by then.

This all started around February 20th for me. And yes, I did have a strange viral illness with especially severe muscle aches, that ended and I immeditately got a (more info than you need, sorry) yeast infection which was topped off with a urinary tract infection that I treated with a ten day course of antibiotics. (that I bought in Mexico no less--back in my days where I felt indestructable)

Also, odd is that I also had a flu shot in October followed by a measles shot in late December. Even if I don't have one of the big, bad ones I am convinced I have done irrepairable harm to myself.
I had an emg nine or ten days ago that was ,apparently, ok. As a 34 year old female with a clean EMG but unexplainable, moderate twitching, painful feet that tingle now and again, quads that burn for no apparent reason, ankles that sometimes burn, joints that crack like crazy but seem to have calmed down after I stopped lifting weights and an arm that feels weak and burns after any prolonged use insane to still be worrying about *you know what*?????

 

[CapnCrunchy2]

Your EMG didn't show any problem. It's very unlikely that you have ALS. Your symptoms aren't much different from those that we've all had, and NONE OF US HAS ALS.

You're clearly a very high-strung person. I'm not saying that's what caused what's happening to you, but clearly it can exacerbate the symptoms. In fact at the levels of anxiety you're experiencing, a portion of your current symptoms may be attributed solely to the anxiety.

Now you're going to a shrink who will almost certainly medicate you. Is that what you want? If so, fine. But another option would be to just calm down and use this scare as an opportunity to finally get past your life of constant worry. Doesn't every other worry you've ever had seem trivial compared to your ALS scare? Calm down.

 

[JCVanilla4125]

Kim,
Your anxiety is understandable. You are concerned about a life-threatening illness. Many, many people have come to this board in the same state as you are in now (obsessing etc.). What you will find is that as they learned more about BFS vs. ALS (and most importantly the differences between the two), they began to calm down and gain control of their emotions. You will too! In fact, you will find that some of the members with the most anxiety initially, are the very same ones that are giving new members support now. Check the old posts and see what I mean. That's probably the best evidence that they have overcome their fears, and are now trying to help others do the same. I think that's pretty cool; and really why this board is here. Good Luck!