ytewestGo99
Well-known member
This post is very personal to me but you guys are my family and I felt compelled to share it:
When I was in my late 20's and early 30's (I'm 38 now). I was very focused on myself, trying to get through college, got married, working, started a family, etc. I prided myself in my accomplishments. I had no spiritual life really although I did believe in God and was raised in a Christian home.
I have an older brother who, at the time, was addicted to drugs and alcohol. I used to shun him because I was so upset that he wouldn't "get his life together". I'd see him now and then but usually spent time talking bad about his habits and wondered why he couldn;t be more like ... me ...
Well, my brother went through a 12 step program, became clean and sober and I remember being there for him when he got his 1 year chip. I cried my eyes out I was so happy for him.
Not long afterward, I went through a serious bout of health anxiety where I REALLY though I was going to die. I was soooo depressed. I called my brother (the one I ignored because he wasn't good enough), and he walked over to my house and counseled me ALL NIGHT LONG.
He told me, "look, I'm angry at you for ignoring me and writing me off, but I'm still here for you".
As I listened to him speak, I realized that he had more knowledge, wisdom, love, compassion, and shere strength in his little pinky than I could probably possess in a lifetime, and that is still true today.
The reson I bring this up is that sometimes our worries are like addictions. They satisfy something in us that, even though it amy not be good for us, seems to serve a purpose.
I'm going to go to the bookstore tomorrow and gat a 12 step program book. Whenever I see the words alcohol, I will just replace it with "health anxiety", "worry", "fear", or whatever.
Oddly enough, some of the most well grounded people I know are the ones who have had the most adversity in their lives. It gives me hope...
I know a lot of us suffer from fear, anxiety, etc. We spend hours doing strength tests, looking for symmetry in our bodies, measuring our muscles, looking for atrophy, staring at parts of our bodies that twitch and trying to analyze what it al means. I used to lift my pant legs and watch my calves twitch, hoping that they would twitch on both sides because I knew that ALS starts in one side of the body and if I twitched on both sides, then I probably didn't have ALS ... it all seems so silly but at the time it was all so real. And I STILL do these things on occasion, thankfully not AS much ...
The one thing I have really learned from my brother is that I need to be a realist. The truth is that we're all human, we're all going to die, we never got a vote when we took our first breath, and we won't get a vote when we take our last. In the mean time, God expects someting out of us other than worrying about the inevitable.
I am reminded of these Bible texts ...
Ephesians 5:15-17 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.
Colossians 4:5-6 Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time.
Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
God bless my big brother for exerting an influence in my life that has changed me forever.
When I was in my late 20's and early 30's (I'm 38 now). I was very focused on myself, trying to get through college, got married, working, started a family, etc. I prided myself in my accomplishments. I had no spiritual life really although I did believe in God and was raised in a Christian home.
I have an older brother who, at the time, was addicted to drugs and alcohol. I used to shun him because I was so upset that he wouldn't "get his life together". I'd see him now and then but usually spent time talking bad about his habits and wondered why he couldn;t be more like ... me ...
Well, my brother went through a 12 step program, became clean and sober and I remember being there for him when he got his 1 year chip. I cried my eyes out I was so happy for him.
Not long afterward, I went through a serious bout of health anxiety where I REALLY though I was going to die. I was soooo depressed. I called my brother (the one I ignored because he wasn't good enough), and he walked over to my house and counseled me ALL NIGHT LONG.
He told me, "look, I'm angry at you for ignoring me and writing me off, but I'm still here for you".
As I listened to him speak, I realized that he had more knowledge, wisdom, love, compassion, and shere strength in his little pinky than I could probably possess in a lifetime, and that is still true today.
The reson I bring this up is that sometimes our worries are like addictions. They satisfy something in us that, even though it amy not be good for us, seems to serve a purpose.
I'm going to go to the bookstore tomorrow and gat a 12 step program book. Whenever I see the words alcohol, I will just replace it with "health anxiety", "worry", "fear", or whatever.
Oddly enough, some of the most well grounded people I know are the ones who have had the most adversity in their lives. It gives me hope...
I know a lot of us suffer from fear, anxiety, etc. We spend hours doing strength tests, looking for symmetry in our bodies, measuring our muscles, looking for atrophy, staring at parts of our bodies that twitch and trying to analyze what it al means. I used to lift my pant legs and watch my calves twitch, hoping that they would twitch on both sides because I knew that ALS starts in one side of the body and if I twitched on both sides, then I probably didn't have ALS ... it all seems so silly but at the time it was all so real. And I STILL do these things on occasion, thankfully not AS much ...
The one thing I have really learned from my brother is that I need to be a realist. The truth is that we're all human, we're all going to die, we never got a vote when we took our first breath, and we won't get a vote when we take our last. In the mean time, God expects someting out of us other than worrying about the inevitable.
I am reminded of these Bible texts ...
Ephesians 5:15-17 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.
Colossians 4:5-6 Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time.
Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
God bless my big brother for exerting an influence in my life that has changed me forever.