Is Selfishness Inevitable in BFS?

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sanjay

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I can't help but wonder................as I travel thru this BFS maze.............am I (are we) selfish people? I just seem to spend so much time worried about ME. How do I feel? What are my symptoms? I feel bad.........blah, blah, blah.............What are your thoughts on the subject?ThanksJanet
 
Janet,I think we are more likely anxiety ridden people that causes us to be self-indulged. It was the lack of participation with my family, and the damage it was causing, that finally made me realize I had to treat my anxiety. In my case, it took an rx of remeron for 5-6 months to get me back on the right track mentally. Once I beat the anxiety, I went back to being the same person I was before bfs...just a little twitchier.Take care,Gary
 
Totally agree with Gary. I don't think we are particularly selfish, but our symptoms cause us to become anxious and self focused. I am currently taking an rx for prozac and hope that in 3-4 more months to taper off that also. I am already feeling much much more like me, pre-twitch. Cindy
 
I had this exact conversation with someone by PM recently. It can be very self-indulgent to do all this worrying about ourselves, and to those family members and friends who can't understand why you think something's wrong with you, we can seem very self-involved I'm sure. So far my family has been very forgiving and patient with me, and have said more than once they're more worried about my mental health than my physical health (they all are certain I don't have *** and think I'm a nut for even worrying about it). I've been trying to focus on the anxiety though I'm not able to take any meds at the moment b/c I'm still nursing my baby. I've started seeing a counselor about this b/c I'd also like to understand why I'm such a hypochondriac in the first place - this isn't the first time I've freaked about a health issue, though I admit I've never been this bad before. I'm not opposed to meds when I'm able to take them, of course I would like to work on some coping mechanisms that don't involve meds as well.So - are we selfish? Maybe a little - but not out of a lack of compassion or thoughfulness - it's the anxiety that drives it and I think those of us who recognize that are trying to deal with it.
 
Pretty much the only thing that I think of when I have thought I may be sick is how it would affect my kids. I still might be a selfish person, but it feels like it's more subtle in that I don't want to imagine my kids' lives without me.
 
Show me someone who isn't selfish these days.I'm certainly not going to criticise anyone else for being obsessed by this whole thing, because I know how it affects me, and looking back to when I joined this board how it was totally screwing around with my life.
 
I say no way, not selfish.Ignoring something and being strong is a defense mechanism.Feeling sorry for yourself is also a defense mechanism.My condition has been terrible at times....I have no regrets about being selfish.
 
Hi~~ I have to put in my two cents here, because I think it's an interesting subject. I was actually just thinking about this, and how ironic my situation is. The reason, at least for me, is this. I began having anxiety attacks back when my kids were little. I know for a fact, with me, it was because of the overwhelming responsibility of being a parent. Some people can just be parents, and not worry too much, but I would worry about their future so much. I became so worried about what life would be like for them without me, that I focused alot on my health, and worried much more about dreadful diseases, convinced that I was going to leave them motherless in this world. I think it goes deep down, something about me feeling like I am the only one who could love them so much, and just this terrifying feeling of leaving them, knowing there is nobody, not even their father, who could take care of them the way I want them to be taken care of. It's sort of a controlling thing, and I continue to be controlling even today with my kids, where I want to do everything for them, even as they get older. My point in this all being ironic is that here I worry so much about having als, and honestly, it's not a selfish thing, I can honestly say that my thoughts are always what it would do to the kids, and how it would be for them, but, ironically, I am living my life right now like I am a handicapped person, so in some respects, it's like I already have a dreaded disease. I was just thinking while I was laying there one day doing nothing how I am letting this get the best of me, and acting like I'm sick already, and my biggest fear of not being there for my kids is sort of coming true, at least to a point. Of course, it's not as bad as having als, but I'm just saying, here the thing I worry about the most is something that I'm almost creating. Yes, my family has been so patient with me, and I feel terrible putting them through this. Yet, the ones I worry about the most are the ones I torture with this. I am quite sure that my family is very sick of comparing their legs, arms or whatever to mine, and seeing if I have atrophy. This stupid fear of als has turned into a daily conversation at one point or another. My son just said to me recently that every conversation we have had for the last six months has been about my symptoms. I can't imagine actually having als, and waiting for symptoms to get worse, and knowing that they will. At least right now I have the hope that I don't have that, but some days aren't so easy to see it that way. Anyway, sorry to go on there, but I'm just trying to somehow point out my feelings towards this. Somehow, even though I say that my kids are my biggest worry, it somehow ends up being all about me, which is what I worry about in the first place! Vicious circle~~talk to you later! Val
 
Thanks for all the responses on this one! I agree with everyone's points................Funny how we (BFS people) live our lives AS IF we have a dreaded disease and people I know that ACTUALLY have horrible diseases worry less than us..Take for example, my father-in-law with MS. He has been dealing with all kinds of symptoms for YEARS and just keeps on trucking...............things just don't bother him. I am jealous ! I wish I could be that non-chalant about health issues.......ThanksJanet
 

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