Easing Fear with a Hobby

[InvisibleItches]

Hey guys, just because I've been documenting all of my symptoms lately, I thought I'd share one more thing. I just went to the gym and wanted to do a light workout. Not test my strength, nothing like that. I just needed to do one of my favorite hobbies because I've been pretty scared and thus depressed lately. While there I could lift.... Bench, dips, arms, etc. etc. So, I guess -- as you have all told me -- this is proof positive that I DON'T HAVE ALS.....REGARDLESS of everything else, I wouldn't be able to do this stuff and regardless of what is happening, none of it is a precursor to ALS. I have to remember that. That is what all of the veterans preach to me and I need to run with this wisdom.But, I just don't understand the sensory stuff. I just don't get it, regardless of all of the threads and searches I do on here. I was an English major at a good UC in California, so I love to read. I've read so many posts on here. But I believe this to be my biggest obstacle: I'm normally very open and accepting of everything, yet this is the one thing I can't wrap my head around. I don't understand it, And that is why I keep posing them here and I apologize. I'll be doing a normal thing. Typing, and twitch twitch twitch, fine little twitches, left bicep. At the gym, was having some kind of muscle snaps, I don't know if that makes sense...but doing a light lift, my muscles would all respond in a weird way, with a jump almost or a ripple. Then, walking home from the gym, my left arm was BUZZING the whole way. And still is. Just buzzing and feeling unique. Also, my muscles got tired so easily today. YIKES. And because I don't understand it, despite all of the advise and knowledge and wisdom here and all the people who seemingly have had the same stuff and who are still alive and well, and everyone on here, all still w/out the disease we all fear. This is something I need to remember.Again guys, I'm sorry. I do appreciate all of the knowledge and I do really take it to heart and I'm going to try to stop coming on here in rages of anxiety and instead come here calmly and hopefully one day impart my knowledge on the rookies and newbies. This forum has been a huge help for me, but I STILL HAVE SUCH A LONG WAY TO GO because, I STILL DON'T FULLY UNDERSTAND THIS AND I'M STILL VERY SCARED OF ALS. Not convinced that I have it, BUT THINKING THIS WILL BE IT TOMORROW OR THE NEXT. Perhaps I'm the exception, that is what my mind keeps repeating like a broken record; OR, I seem ok, I'm only 25, that'd be rare, I still walk and lift stuff. I probably wouldn't have to suspect if I had it, I would KNOW. And it seems there are no warning signs, that all of this means nothing, that if it were to come, it would just come, there wouldn't be this build up..But hey, no matter how illogical that may be, this is how I feel. I don't understand it -Ryan

 

[Gracer]

Hi Ryan,sensory disorders usually are result of neural trauma or compression. You might read recent post by DesertKnight - she finally discovered that there are cysts in some parts of her spine (myeline sheats of nerves just detached and filled up with CSF causing pain, numbness etc). A way to aquire spinal trauma is not always to get your spine broken in a car accident - often it is a result of scoliosis, hypermobility of spine vertebrae, heavy sports, non-adhering to safety rules when you holding heawy lifts at work etc. So when you would get your Xray/MRI on spine - find the best surgeon and specialist as you can and discover what is the thing causing all that sensory stuff (if ever).Another source of sensory issues is blood circulation, and here you also might compress the vein or atrery by vertebrae (most frequent cause) or have any other physical reason. but also fear and anxiety.Fears and bad blood supply together make you feeling weak.that makes you more feared.and so on.I do not know you personally, but I can tell you my own story of obsessive fears and maybe this would help you a little bit to hold on.I am obsessive phobic since 6 years (i am 42 now - imagine the whole life spent in the hell like yours now so I know what it is). And only last year on a mind theray I had discovered what is going on. Listen, some people just could not tolerate uncertainty. it is a part of their nature. Nobody knows if this is inherent due to mind structure/chemistrty or it is aquired in earliest childhood or even in infantry - but there are such people. Uncertainity means end of life for them. No safe existense. And do you know then what is the easiets way to be certain of something? No? ha-ha, it is so easy. Imagine the worse case scenario - and you would be certain for sure! Just because there are always SEVERAL good outcomes (so it is uncertain situation) but only ONE bad or fatal (and this is for sure, certain and therefore it is accepted as number one).That was my way of thinking. That was an enemy making my life a daily torture for over 30 years. No matter that chances for fatal outcome of uncertain cituation are ALWAYS lower than chances for good outcome, I was always sure about bad one.For example, if my dear does not pick up the phone - he could be in the shower or in another room or in noisy place (80%), phone discharged (19.995%) or something really bad had happened to him (the rest 0.005%). But I never know what the reason is exactly (80% or 20% probable) so I always choose 0.005% because in that case he for sure would not pick up the phone. Do you understand how it works? It sounds so silly - but I had lived with this for life long!Probably the same just happens now to you. Probably for you it is 'safer' now to stay feared with fatal disease then not to know what EXACTLY is wrong with you just because benign outcomes are multiple, uncertain or could not be pointed out clearly (however their probablity is MUCH MUCH higher than a bad outcome).But I would like to warn you that this is easy way to restore a kind of certainity - but very very costly.I personally lost a lot in my life due to it (and I think all people who suffer with that type of anxiety disorder could say the same) and most of all I lost a huge part of life itself.The thruth is you might still be uncertain about what had happened for month and even years. NEurology is a huge and not always explored field of science. Please keep your reassurance that this is not ALS unless you are not clinically weak (unable to use your muscles or voluntarily control them). It is important. And then start (the sooner the better) antianxiety medication and a good mind therapy. Otherwise your mind and body would became your real enemies and would make you young healthy guy a ruin.I wish you a quick resolve of your case and count probabilities, not certanities, please!Take care of yourself - nobody will do it better than you.regardsyulia