Discussing Mental Health with Family

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OPHIAzkatieSOPH

Active member
I was wondering if you might share how family members react when you discuss your problems? Do you discuss your symptoms with them or do you feel that you should keep it in? Are they supportive or do they brush you off? I have received a lot of support from my husband, but he gets very tired of examining my tongue. The other day I was feeling bad and I had a cramp in my calf all day and I told my husband. He asked what I wanted him to say and I just wanted him to talk me down out of a panic. I have really been open with family about my trouble and I guess I feel like I have worn them out-- so I don't say anything anymore. I have started therapy and I suppose I have to just wait until my appointment to spill my guts. Do you family members support you coming on this site? My husband seems to feel that it isn't helping me. I disagree at times and at other times I agree. There are so many times when I am so thankful to have this site- and to read about the many things I experience, but I often wonder if I don't borrow other peoples troubles and my body mimics their symptoms? I just wonder if anyone feels this way?
I have encountered many people who think anxiety is a made up condition and this really ticks my toot. :mad: My doctor said that anxiety is one of the worst things a person can have (that can't kill you, that is) because it nevers ends- or so it seems. Just when I get over a current fear- another one pops up. Seems like many on this board experiences this on a regular basis.
 
Hi Kate

I have to admit that I keep my fears and anxieties completely to myself apart from this wonderful site

I am currently going through a period of unremitting health concerns(many of which i believe are exacerbated by stress) and my family are growing impatient with my constant visits to doctors, hospital (for x-rays etc) and other venues where i can gain reassurance that I am really OK

That's not to say in any way that they don't care, they just want me to get back to the happy person i was six months ago and, as far as they can see, all I've got to do is just do it!

My two daughters, aged 14 and 16, caught me on this site a couple of weeks ago and thought it was hilarious that i am a member of a community which is (in their eyes) obsessed with body twitching. I can see where they're coming from, might have thought the same thing myself a couple of months ago. Thing is, there's no way i would explain why many of us are freaked by the twitching cos I don't want to worry them

At the end of the day, I think they feel that me being a part of this forum is as if I'm picking at a scab instead of letting it heal (sorry for the ugly analogy but you know what I mean)
 
okay so EyeoftheWild will flame me but...

My wife is totally unsupportive of this. She just feels once a doctor tells you you are fine then you need to go on living and forget it. Obviously, this is a rational perspective. Having said that, I think that many of us just need some comfort and support at times. In the beginning this was literally terrifying for me. I was locked in fear. I have moved past that most of the time now. It is hard for another person to enter into the pain that another one feels. Until you walk a mile in that man's shoes...

MarkS
 
I’ve told no one, except for my wife who is an RN. When this first started, during my brief period of thinking that it was fatal, I told no one so as not to worry anyone. People need different levels of external support. This site is a great one. Personally, I find that my best support comes from within, when I completely calm my emotions and busy mind, and listen for that “still small voice.”

Cheers,
-Bill
 
Kate – You were freaking out for a very good reason. This syndrome is really f$&%’ed up, because it causes very real and scary neurological symptoms, and other than this site (and 1 page on Wikipedia) it isn’t initially easy to find out about it. If you caused anyone to worry, it was obviously not intentional, and out of your control at the time. Your personal understanding of what people are going through is what is enabling you to help and support people with your posts now. Look at it in those terms, and don’t feel bad about what is past.

Cheers,
-Bill
 
My youngest daughter watches me constantly. I feel like I am under surveillance if I even think about the computer; I probably am. No doubt the little dictator has got nanny cams hidden all over the house. Hmm, better not scratch my bum so freely. When she catches me on BFS she says in a very loud voice, "OMG DAD, ARE YOU ON BFS AGAIN, THAT IS SO RETARDED!!" At which point my wife sighs, one of those beautiful 18th century sighs that say, "I can't believe you neglect me so, am I so unattractive now that you must look for companionship on that box." It makes me so angry I could spit nails, hell probably screws too. I tell my daughter, no I wail at her, "It is none of your darn beeswax what I'm doing, I am the top-dog of this house, do you hear me, the TOP BLOODY DOG." I feel that I have established my authority, but she makes me feel ridiculous by saying, " yah, whatev." Then my wife who said she was going out "shopping," says, can't I ever get on the computer to do real work!" I am, of course, aghast and say, "I thought you were going "shopping." She categorically denies this, even though I have just taped her with my MD player, and have played it back to her. At this point, and because I am completely addicted to this forum, I exit BFS.com and slam the keyboard slide into the desk. Both daughter and wife look askance and say to each other with their eyes, "sheesh what is his problem anyway." Having nowhere else to go, I go to the video store where I rent something that I think will be interesting but it is filled with bad actors looking off into space. "What ever happened to decent story telling," I think to myself, because no one listens to me anyway. I fast forward through the movie and remove myself to bed where I spend a fit-less night worrying about my daughter at college, twitching, being too hot, listening to my wife's deep and caressing beautiful sleep, and I guess I eventually fall into some kind of slumber where I dream dreams of contracting some horrible illness, while pictures of other BFSers dance in my head like so many sugar plums.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ,
Basso
 
My wife is tired of it. Can't blame her. My daughter (15) catches me watching my hand or leg twitch and says "Stop it." I guess I must really seem crazy. On the other hand, no one has gotten really mad at me. In a way, that's support. It may sound horrible, but I don't avoid the Cursed Triliteral in the home. We make it kind of a joke, like "Well, there's another new place to twitch. Guess I'm a goner for sure, now." I have no idea how that plays on young psyches, but I think I make up for it in other ways. My kids seem pretty normal and good to me. I am strongly discouraged from visiting related sites on the internet.
 
Well, I don't know about anybody else, but my aymptoms are so intense I have told everyone who depends on me for anything significant. Npbody understands, not mu friends, my kids, my comrades. How could they?

I have a problem with "the Dr. says I am just fine" and even with the word "benign". The vast majority of illnesses that people see a physician for are not terminal. They see a doctor because of discomfort, pain, emotional problems, anxiety. So how is it that BFS patients are OK?

No, we are not dying. But bugs crawling under your skin, buzzing in your extremities, insomnia, well, I consider that discomfort.

I feel you have to tell those who love you that you are suffering. Don't expect them to be able to put it in context, to be able to comprehend what it feels like. But let them know you are feeling bad, are worried, upset, etcetera.

That's my opinion. If they love you they will accept you, BFS, BCFS or not.

Blessings, Viv-
 
My husband is either sick of hearing about this or he just doesn't know what to do or say to help. Because he is a physician I expect him to be somewhat helpful in allaying my fears, but he really isn't because he cannot understand what I am going through. He keeps telling me I have nothing serious, but once he admitted to me that he kind of ignores my complaints because the thought of my actually having a serious illness scares him. I wish he could just point me in the right direction in terms of getting help. But I think he is too close to my situation to actually be of help. Also, he had cancer 8 years ago and I think he finds my stuff trivial. I have not shared much with any other family members (three kids and a mom) I have a couple of other things going on as well (inflammatory, probably autoimmune lip condition and hypothyroidism.) The hypothyroidism, for which I am being treated, is the only thing my husband knows something about.
 
I don't know if that is a healthy way to live, but if your spouse isn't good in this area what should you do??

We pool our money, and all bring our significant others to a big party. The entertainment shall be provided by each of us doing physical testing feats. We all realize that we are actually pretty normal as a group. Each spouse can get five minutes at the microphone to tell everyone the moment they realized they were married to someone with seriously strange notions.

After drinks we can go to the pool and watch each other twitch, with prizes awarded in different categories: most twitches in 5 minutes, most different places twitching, strangest twitching place, etc.[/i]
 
Doug, that is so funny! I am sorry that I pm'd you now. Hope I didn't cause any problems,lol


Note to Dougs wife: I am sure he is the best, but I am afraid I am stuck with my own non-twitching spouse...

ristinaL91
 
ristinaL91
PM me any time... it's all good.. ;)

How about this.. if there is a pill that would give our spouses our symptoms just for a day I would bet everything I own that they would be in the emergency room by the eleventh hour crying like babies.

A few days back (someone) said to me"maybe it's just all in your head",
I dare anyone to try and make a fasciculation of one muscle strand using their own will. Ha~
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: <-- today these angry emoticons are my signature Grrrrrrr!
 
Well, I will admit to being somewhat of a hypochondriac, so I dont think my husband takes anything I tell him too seriously, and I'm not sure I blame him. He said to me the other day "If you even got a wart on your foot, you'd think you were gonna die!" If he knew the half of it, he'd probably have me committed! I try not to inundate him about BFS. He did ask me all kinds of questions about this website and I tried to tell him it's just a whole bunch of people going thru exactly the same thing that I am going thru and it helps me to have support and empathy. I really don't think he understood. He's exactly the opposite- He would be at death's door before he would go to a doctor; he just says "Ahhhh, I'll be fine" and that's that. Gee I wish I could be as easygoing as him, I hate the worrier- type of personality I have. Gotta change that somehow.............
Val
 

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