Blessing of Technology on Forum

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joefriends84

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Hi,I’m new here and have looked at many different posts over the last two weeks or so. I am amazed at how comforting and realistic many of you can be. I’m thankful for the technology that allows this forum to be here, as it is a blessing to many people.Disclaimer – I’m not a doctor, and I’ve tried for too long to act like one. I should have gone to the doctor a while ago, but fear and pride kept me from it. Really and truly, I’m just looking for encouragement right now more than anything. I’m a little concerned about my health. I’ve had what I thought were familial essential tremors for years. They’ve progressed throughout most of my body, or so I think (see aforementioned doctor comment!). My dad’s side shakes pretty badly, and I’ve just gotten used to it I guess. I didn’t think much of it when my left leg started getting sore a few months ago, probably in June. At first it felt a little achy, and I just attributed it to maybe my shakes moving to my legs with force now. When driving, I would move my leg up to the dash (not my driving foot thankfully!), as that provided some relief. My leg was sore when I walked and when I was lying down…pretty much all the time. Over the past two weeks or so, I’ve noticed that I am getting the little twitches, fasciculations I think, in my left leg. It started intense and all the sudden up and down my left leg, but has settled to two places really. It’s primarily in my instep and left calf. I do get them other places from time to time, but not at the same rate that I get them in my left foot and calf. It scared me, and my leg is even sorer and achier now. I haven’t had any problems lifting my feet or anything like that, and I can run up stairs just fine (even do calf raises). I am away from home right now, but I went to the doctor out here (I’d like to be vague on “out here” if I can). He did a bunch tests initially, and found that I had a little clonus and little hyperreflexia in both ankles…whatever “a little” of either really means. My labs were normal. My legs both feel a little shaky, and I just attributed that to my essential tremor before. Now, my left leg feels a little less steady and shakier than my right. When I press down on things, sometimes my leg pulses, not giving a steady, smooth strengthening but a sine-like pulse of pressure. MY leg definitely feels a little tingly, especially in my feet, and my left arch seems to be falling (not 100% sure about that, though...might just be perceived from a difference not noted before). My doc instructed me to go to my primary doc at home as soon as I get back and look for a referral to neurology. So, not really looking for a “Do I have ALS?” answer or anything like that…I know you can’t give it in reality. Further, I have to trust that my doctors are good at what they’re doing and care about their patients…at least until proven wrong. I don’t like it when people automatically question my smarts or my evaluation at work when they don’t have a clue, either. A little knowledge is sometimes more dangerous than none at all...The biggest thing for me right now is anxiety. I am still in my twenties, although barely, and have a young and growing family with two little girls and one on the way. I don’t want to be a burden to my wife financially or physically, although I know that she loves me no matter what. You know, I’m just struggling with what’s going on with me physically. I am very provider-minded when it comes to my family…I would work ten jobs if it means my kids are taken care of. But, that’s easy to take for granted. A favorite musician of mine, Andrew Peterson, has a song that talks about how he doesn’t want to go backwards in life, he just wants to keep going forward…meaning, I don’t want a do-over, but I don’t want to stop, either. I’m a Christian, and I know that I need to have faith right now. My faith, however, is not in the fact that nothing will be wrong…we’re not promised that…but that God will give me strength for each day as it comes. Michael J. Fox said that to spend time worrying about the worst case is dumb because 1) if you have the problem, it means you have to live it twice or 2) you worry for absolutely nothing. As one who is predisposed to crazy worry, this is easier said than done. So, I would appreciate any encouragement from you sage counselors. Regardless, I am resolved to never take another day for granted…
 
Hi Joey-You sound a lot like myself, and many others in this community. Not only with your symptoms, but also with regard to the underlying anxiety problem and specifically when dealing with health issues. We can relate to your thought processes, both good and bad. I've said this a lot, and I truly believe we are clones when dealing with this stuff. As for your symptoms, there is nothing about your story that sounds worrisome in the least. If you think ALS is even a remote possibility as a cause for your symptoms, you are out of touch with reality (which most of us are in the beginning of BFS). In time, I think you'll understand it and accept the truth. Until then, and after, I understand the concern over anxiety disrupting your life. I've dealt with anxiety issues my entire life, most significantly when related to health issues. I've benefited from living healthy, finding ways to reduce my overall anxiety, and shifting focus AWAY from my symptoms. Many also benefit from medication, but I haven't gone that route. Welcome and thanks for sharing your story.
 
I don't think you need any wisdom, your story sounds like one of someone with plenty of that already. You are right to get the appropriate medical opinion while at the the same time realising that he chances of this being anything nasty are vanishingly small and that your anxiety is most probably key to this.As for encouragement, that is what is so great about this board. Thousands of people who can identify with what you are going through but none of whom are dying (or at least not of any disease, just entropy :) ).GlowGreen
 

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