rdbashir12
New member
Hello everyone. My name is Matt, 32 years old, and I think that I most likely have BFS. I can be a bit long-winded when speaking(or typing), so bear with me. I have read all of the stickies here, but still would like to hear the opinions of this community on a few issues.First of all, I have never been to a neurologist. I have battled my entire life with severe anxiety and an obsessive personality disorder which, when combined, cause a preoccupation with my body and health; a lifelong history of hypochondria. This, in turn, causes my doctors to be very skeptical of symptoms which may be open to my own subjective interpretation and unconscious or psychosomatic biases. I understand this, and I don't begrudge them their doubts. However, I believe that the reason I haven't yet had the proper tests done(EMG, etc.), is due entirely to my mental health history in spite of some of the more objective symptoms I am presenting with.Roughly two years ago, I went to the ER with a large blister patch on my back and a strange pain confined to the left side of my body. Being the medical wonk that I am, I identified this immediately as shingles and knew that I needed to start on antivirals ASAP. Finally my health anxiety had paid off, I had correctly diagnosed the problem!(even though the shingles probably erupted due to my anxiety and the stress which follows) I was started on medication(Acyclovir) and given a follow up with my doctor. After a week or two of walking around in my underwear with lymph nodes the size of carrots, I got better. Everything seemed OK, but little things started to go wrong 4 or 5 months down the road. I had always had twitches throughout my body, but they became more frequent and intense. I also noticed a tremor in my left hand. I didn't think too much of this, until I noticed one day while sitting at my computer with my head resting on my knee(something I have done my entire life), that I couldn't open my lips without an incredible tremor taking over my chin. I then made a terrible mistake: I Googled these symptoms. I'm sure you know what I found; a veritable buffet of boogiemen. ALS, MS, Parkinson's . . . the list goes on.Since that time, I have developed an "all over" tremor that causes me to shake quite a bit whenever I exert force against anything. My hands both tremor when I extend my fingers, the left moreso than the right. These tremors become very pronounced after taking a hot bath or shower, to the point where I can't hold a toothbrush. This also happens when I exercise. I am a runner, and I average about 21 miles/week. Once I hit the 2 mile mark on a run the loss of coordination in my left hand is almost funny, I can't even touch a finger to my thumb.I twitch madly all over my body. My thighs, my back and shoulders, and strangely(or at least I think it is strange) my lips and the facial muscles around my nose! I have a spot below the pinky on both hands that feels like it is "buzzing" constantly, like a super fast fasciculation which I can't see, but there all the same. I often feel an internal shaking when I am in a chair or in bed, like a washing machine is running out of balance nearby.Finally, the new manifestation which caused me to create this account and post here. Nine days ago I developed what you call a "hot spot". The thenar muscle on my right hand, more specifically the topmost muscle(the one closest to the fingers) of the thenar cluster in the palm of my hand, started to twitch in rapid bursts. It has not stopped since! These twitches even persist through the night, flaring up a lot when I switch positions in bed. I have never had a twitch that doesn't stop, and this is abjectly terrifying to me. I am dreading ALS/MS, even though I haven't yet experienced any loss of strength. I can honestly say that I have never been this scared before. It is consuming every minute of my life. I understand how irrational this is, considering that were I to actually have some terrible illness such as the ones that I have mentioned above, it would do me no good to dwell on it. My doctors have given me a CT, and tested all of my electrolytes and thyroid. All came back normal. I believe that I should have an EMG and a MRI/spinal as well, but sadly I am a medicaid patient and my doctors don't want to do these more expensive tests given my history of anxiety muddying the waters, so to speak.I am at a loss for what to do next.Do my symptoms line up with your experiences with BFS? Should I go back to my doctors, relentlessly, until I get these tests? How do you take your mind off of a hot spot that is so very noticeable, e.g. on the palm of the hand!?If you made it this far, I thank you for listening to what was probably a tiresomely verbose introduction.