Bad Day: Legs & Cheek Aches

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Ernzo88

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Today has been a particularly bad day. My legs were not feeling good when I got up but as the day has progressed they have felt increasingly weak,tired,heavy,achy/painful and at one point my left leg (The one that has mainly felt terrible today) was numb and very/stiff as if someone has attatched a splint to my leg and I could not bend it.Also my right cheek has been feeling funny again which is not helping things. So even though my symptoms have gone from bad to v.bad and back to bad again and I am having some twitches in a few places (90% of the time still in my legs) I am petrified about you know what again. Also I forgot to mention that my weight has gone down by about 7lbs. :(
 
When I said about my symptoms going from bad to v.bad etc I did not mean they have been improving as such just that I have a short period where it has not been as bad (Still pretty bad) and its got worse,then got slightly better and back to v.bad again etc. Today has been even worse than yesterday,to the point where the thought of chopping my legs off has crossed my mind.In terms of excercise I have not been doing any as generally I feel terrible and also I am worried that if I try to do anything even walk a small distance,something is going to happen/not happen which is going to lead to even more anxiety,such as yesterday when my leg did that lock up sort of thing.Unfortunately depression/feeling low has been with me for a v.long time and is complicated and i'm sure this is not the place to go into such things. However this thing (whatever it is) is just compounding the issue as it has made me have to stop the one thing that got me out of the house and anything else I do (Watch tv,listen to music etc) I get no/v.little enjoyment from as all I can feel is this stuff going on with my legs and it is overiding anything else going on around me.I should try something however again due to things that have happened to me,I find it hard to do things even if they might benefit me,as I am v.unlucky and things tend to go wrong. So as result because I expect the worse I tend not to try anything as I'm always scared that its not going to help/make thngs worse and make me even worse when it comes to state of mind.Some of the people on here are v.strong characters and I have great respect for these people,however I am a shell of a person and it takes very little to crush me. :(
 
Look, something is going to "happen/not happen" regardless what you do/don't do as time doesn't stop for any of us. You have to decide if you are going to move forward in some way; nobody's going to make that decision for you or talk you into it.
 
I've been there on and off for 13 years next month. Times can be bad...very bad...not so bad and then very bad again. First step is to determine what you need to do for yourself in order to gain back control of your life. I understand and I have been to that place. What I do know is that you have to be proactive with the things that you can control. Number one, you and I cannot control what is happening with our bodies, as much as we would like that cure we don't have one yet. You need to focus on the things you can control, such as how you react to the things that your body is doing. For me, as much as I was opposed to it, I needed medication. I took 5 mg of Lexapro per day and Clonazepam as needed. The Clonazepam does relax the muscles, but also helps you relax that thinking process that tends to be very overactive during difficult periods. I will not lie and tell you that I don't have irrational fears from time to time, but I have more control over them and the affect they have on my body. Another way that I handle the anxiety and stress is massage therapy. It not only helps me to relax, but it does wonders for my circulatory and myofacial systems which greatly improve overall health. Vitamins and supplements to keep my immune system in check. DVD's offer beginner yoga, stretching and meditation which also require your mind to be focused elsewhere. I also tell myself (outloud) the important things that I need to hear each day and that is that I am here. I am breathing. I am living. I am capable. None of us know where life is going to take us. Think of all of those people who were here today and gone tomorrow. I can promise you that they did not spend that day thinking about it. We tend to focus so much on where we will be in 1 year, 10 years, etc. that we forget to live for today. You are here. You are breathing. You are living and you are capable of gaining control over the hold that anxiety has on you. I believe you can do that. Please post again to let me know how you are because I do care. I've been there.Stacy
 
Thanks for your kind words Stacy,its nice to know there is at least one person out there that gives a *beep* about me.You talk about trying to have control over things,however I have not had control of virtually everything for the last 25 years (Long story) and find it very hard to be proactive,even if I know thats what I need to be. I am taking Lamotrigine (For my epilepsy) which is also supposed to help with fasciculations and Tramadol for the pain however both seem to be ineffective.A massage sounds good but as I have mentioned on numerous occasions I have gone 3-4 days without being able to wash/dress or anything. The only time I have got out of my house in the last month and a half has been to go to the doctors or the hospital,so trying to get a massage would be difficult and thats before you factor in the cost which is an issue as I am on a v.low income.I am scared of many things mostly intangible stuff,things such as spiders,heights and all that does not bother me but things which will/may/may not happen in the future worry/scare the living daylights out of me,which makes me feel totally helpless. I don't think I have "Lived" a day in the last 25 years,a waste of a life but unfortunately events/circumstances have caused such things and baring a miracle i'm not sure that is going to change anytime soon.At this present time I am v.bad. The aches are there 24/7 (mainly in the right calf and thigh),to the point where thoughts of chopping my legs off have crossed my mind. The constant twitching in my heel (Thread posted a day ago) is causing me worry as well as weight loss which is getting worse,I have gone from around 146lbs down to 137lbs.I am seeing my GP in just over an hour to present her with a list of my symptoms and to try and "Pursuade " her to try and speed up my appointment with the neurologist,even though they deny they can do such things. I have been to my GP's practice about 5 or 6 times and all they have done is misplace my referal (Found this out after 4 visits),some blood tests and taken my blood pressure once.I am only going to calm down if/when I find that I do not have what I fear. Even then it is going to cause problems as these symptoms are stopping me doing anything which was very little to begin with,which when combined with all the other problems (Physical and otherwise) is not a thrilling prospect to put it mildly.Thanks again Stacy,its nice to know there are others who have some understanding of my symptoms and fears. Should you wish to chat feel free to mail me (Anyone else is welcome) and I can sort something out as it is/would be nice to be able to chat to others in the same boat.Ciao x
 
I'll let everybody know what the doctor says when I get back. Hopefully they will take things a bit more seriously and try to speed things up.Well i'm just back from the doctors and nothing was really done apart from chasing up the neurology department. They could not understand why my referal got lost,but this has happened to me on a few occasions. When I asked the doctor what she thought it was and why I was refered to a neurologist she said that she was not sure what it was not being a specialist but that I needed to be seen because of the possibility it could be something along the lines of ***,which has done nothing but make me even more worried.So now its just a case of waiting to hear from the Neurology department. I did not have to walk that far from the bus stop to the doctor but my legs feel really weak and stiff and as if they are having troubke supporting me. :(Also I forgot to mention that I have had a lot of pain & balance issues with my right foot/ankle today,which is not doing much for me in terms of hoping for the best.
 
Noodle,How long have you had your symptoms? How did they start? I'm just looking for some background. I know you are in a really bad place right now and the waiting to get in to the doctor doesn't help. I don't believe that it was proper for your GP to simply throw out *** as a possible reason to see a neurologist. GP's will refer you to a specialist who are better qualified to sort through your symptoms and determine ALL possibilities. My GP could have given me medication for my migraines however he referred me to a neurologist because this is an area that is part of their specialty and she was better suited to work with me to determine the best course of treatment. You are right...I don't know or understand what you have been through over the last 25 years and obviously those issues have a very tight hold over you. I simply want to set forth some ideas, even as simple as finding a great book, to take your mind off of the bad thoughts for a little while each day. The stress you are experiecing in and of itself is so hard on you mind, body and soul that it can make you very sick, outside of what you are already experiecing. I lost 25 pounds last summer. Have you tried a benzo such as clonazepam? It relaxes the muscles and calms the twitching for me. Go ahead and PM me and I will try to stay in contact with you to see you through to your appointment.Take care,Stacy
 

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