Afraid of Taking Antidepressant After Father's Suicide

[TeslaRulez]

I'm really on the brink of taking an antidepressant but I'm still afraid of it. My father committed a suicide last year due to long term insomnia. I don't know it is the antidepressant or the insomnia that drove him in this way. Deep in my mind, I'm afraid of it.I visited another neurologist yesterday and showed him my wrist cramp video, then he arranged my first EMG exam after numerous neurologist had diagnosed that all the symptom are from my irrational anxiety. I told him that all the previous diagnose was anxiety related disorder then he asked me "do you believe it is all derived from your anxiety?".What he said did to some extent scare me. Did he found something wrong? What if the EMG is not clear? .......... I have to wait 10 days before the EMG test and I had bad insomnia last night, I almost did not sleep all the night. As all you know, insufficient sleep and anxiety fuel all the symptom of neurological disorder, I'm really considering of taking my first antidepressant to have a better sleep.Some of my symptom does freak me out. My twitch is localized at my left arm and my muscle twitch badly if I raise my left forearm up for a while, tremble spread out to my whole body. I can feel my inner tremble when I sit still. And today all the symptom seems gets worse. I can hardly persuade my mind that I'm healthy.Insomnia+neurological disorder+flu=end of the world.Should I take some antidepressant to control my runaway anxiety?

 

[Natedotcom]

Hi submarine,First off, I think the doctor saying "do you believe it is all derived from your anxiety?" was probably just a way for them to see where you are at in what you believe is going wrong. You say you've had numerous neurologists diagnose your symptoms as benign (or at least caused in part by your anxiety) so there comes a time where you just have to let go and accept that. No doubt this EMG will also come back showing the same things.Now - all that aside - I know what it's like to be SUPER anxious and usually statements like, "just don't worry about it", or "the EMG will come back fine", sort of breeze by the mind and don't seem to take hold. I found that medication has helped me tremendously during times of increased anxiety. I've tried a number of anti-depressants but have found that benzo's like xanax or klonopin work best for me as they treat my immediate panic/anxiety. Many others on here seem to use klonopin when needed and respond well to it (it's also helps reduce the twitching for many of us).I've also found meditation to help me a LOT as well. Something to think about. I will also be starting Cognitive Behavioral Therapy next week to help me too!So just keep reminding yourself that you've been through this before and that the results will most likely come back negative (no serious problems). Then, if you truly are feeling overwhelmed by all of this and cannot sleep - please do seek some help for the anxiety. Whether it be in the form of a drug, therapy, or meditation.Just remember you are not alone - we've all been there. It's horrifying and sometimes feels like the panic that consumes you will never end. But I promise you it can and it will.P.S. I also tremble through my whole body. You should see me after I workout at the gym - I'll shake a LOT! Also, anxiety (and especially extreme anxiety like you are experiencing) will increase the trembling, the twitching, and the cramping. It's a vicious cycle. Time to take back control!

 

[TeslaRulez]

I'm truly appreciate all the caring from this site. As 25, I feel so alone that all the peers seem to have a healthier and more carefree life than me. I can only share my worrisome to a limited friends and the worrisome is somehow hard to convey to people have no similar experience. My father is a gp and I used to turn to him for caring if I felt ill and that's what my mental health counselor inferred my root of hypochondria. Some kind of delayed onset PTSD. I've done numerous exams to exclude all the fetal diseases I thought I had, colon/stomach/lymph/lung/ cancer /M.G./Spinocerebellar ataxia/HD plus ALS. And I'm not sure if all my anxiety along the path piled up to cause my neurological disorder. To some extent, the caring from this site is as comforting as my father gave me. Thanks for all you gave.