Admitting a Hard Time Shaking Off

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InkedMama

Well-known member
Hey ok ok, I am going to admit I am having a HARD time shaking this off. I am practically OVER the twitching- Im down to not even enough to count during the day- NO feelings of percieved weakness on any days..Feeling wonderful. As you know from the other post the other day I was outside cutting my dogs hair..and I had my right leg kicked out..Well the sun hit it and I saw two indentions. Right at the start of my calve...Through out the day I saw it..then that night I could hardly make it appear (maybe the lighting etc.) Anyhow- today in the shower I propped my leg up to shave..(right leg, dominant side) and I saw it again . Its only there in certain positions. When I point my leg out straight I can see the solid muscle and feel it and its solid w/ no identions at all...and when Im standing looking down now...its not noticeable.I hope this has always been there.. Logic tells me IT HAS! I was looking @ NinaC2005's post, I saw he has found a dent as well- however..if I think LOGICALLY AGAIN...I had this off and on twitching 18 months with a break all summer...Then almost 4 months ago around May 1st I start this little round..so if that indeed was muscle wasting I think it would be a lot more worse.I also read on a ALS Forum ( i know i know i know) from a woman whom saw a TOP ALS SPECIALIST that had dx'd more als patients that Forbes (whichever top notch doc that is)..that Weakness is GREATLY DISPORTIONATELY greater over atrophy. (meaning by the time one has atrophy weakness is FAR MORE GREATER).I dont even twitch in this leg hardly..or even AROUND the spot the little indention is. I am just having a hard time shaking it off. I also tell my self if little dents and twitches were a dx for als then our neuro's and docs would have us stripped down and be scrutinzing our bodies and having us flex our muscles looking for dents...I guess that means ATROPHY is PRETTY much the whole muscle not a indention.Anyhow JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS I NEED SOME FELLOW BFSERS to help me out again!!!!!Seems DENTS are what us BFSERS look for, YOU NEVER see that word mentioned on ALS forums..its always ATROPHY (one limb being entirely smaller, not a dent)HELP!!! (ohh Im on my way to my psychologist today, but I am NOT even mentioning this new finding lol) :sick:
 
love the sonogram of your baby. it's good to see something good with all of this stress. i pray you are well. the heck w/caps today, to much fatigue
 
Yes, I have read the same thing about atrophy. By the time you have the atrophy, you have profound weakness in the limb. I also read that **S usually starts in a hand or foot and travels up a limb. So, i guess that would mean the weakness also starts in a hand or foot. So, i think that means our shoulder pain ( that we don't really have much anymore) wouldn't be typical of how it presents. Here is what I think. I think **S is pretty easy to diagnose clinically. And since we have all been looked at by GP's and or neuros and they say we don't have it, we need to believe them. They are the doctors and we are simply stuck in this anxiety cycle. At least that is how I feel about myself today!Have a good doc appt. Lovely. Hugs,Linda
 
P&H get off this *** trip you got going. Hyperaware of any body differences you had not cared about before is the most probable cause of your "visions". At work we have a laser scanner that makes 3-D images of anything you scan. Maybe I should get naked and scan myself because the accuracy of the unit is in the micro-meters. Periodically I can get naked and rescan myself for any subtle changes.
 
Thanks yall.. EVERYONE of you are RIGHT!!! INCLUDING myself... I know this..We all know this- I am playing the hardest mental TUG OF WAR EVER in my head right now. I have to much time on my hands- I know when the baby gets here- I won't have time to think of ME ME ME ME ME. I am being VERY selfish right now w/ myself. Thanks for the support , I know repetitiveness gets boring and tiring but its part of healing and uhhh maybe the OCD REASSURANCE in me lolLovely :sick:
 
Dents are a symptom of very specific local injuries rather than a global problem. I was doing what you should never do a little while ago and comparing symptoms with someone else. He had some big dents, and they were caused by injuries whereas my left hand has more of a global shrinkage my orthopaedic guy actually found more of it than I was aware of even as I only thought it was around my thumb. The curious thing was that he was so matter of fact about it, telling me with a straight face that what I had lost I had lost forever, he said the muscles don't grow back whatever you do. I asked him about it wanting reassurance that I was wrong, but he confirmed my suspicions, so if a specialist tells you, that you are ok, then it means you are, because if you weren't he would tell you. I have a thery about some of the folks on *LS forums, especially those who say they are awaiting diagnosis. They don't have *LS I think those forums are full of folk like us who have not got wise to there symptoms yet, they google because they are twitching, and naturally find there way to worst place they should be. The reason why some of there symptoms contradict the facts is because they don't have *LS any more than we have.I stand to be corrected of course, this is just a feeling I have as someone who every so often wanders over to take a look at those forums knowing it is not good for my mental health to do so.However tonight I am happy, I am full of energy, I can't possibly have *LS so I hope my smile is infectious.
 
You know what Cap..YOU JUST MADE MY NIGHT!!!! I have been infected. YOU have told me...EXACTLY what I have thought in my head for NUMEROUS months now. Plus what my DOCTORS, My psychiatrist, MY PSYCHOLOGIST etc. have told me. Some people WILL NOT EXCEPT a BENIGN dx. or maybe their doctors will not say BFS/BCFS etc. So they don't except it. They push for MORE TEST and MORE TEST and MORE TEST. . Eventually, you are going to find "something!". Doctors ARE compassionate but if they see someone PERSISTANT ON TESTS they are gonna do what they can to get some money. (I know this, I am in the medical field). They LOVE hypochondriacs, OCD people, and people that just WONT except dx! I came to that little "theory" you had a few months ago...seriously...and it makes LIGIT sense to me. When these neuro's are you guys and these doctors I've been to TELL YOU w/in a FEW MONTHS of ANY symptom that you will be WELL AWARE of a POSSIBLE ALS DIAGNOSIS then...it can't take these "waiting for a dx a year or so". It just doesn't make sense...So w/ this dent that I see that I declare lol :rolleyes: has no way (thank GOD) affected ANYTHING but my mental state of mind. I can wear heels, I can do squats, I can get up w/ one, two, legs out of a chair, off the floor..then its NOTHING more sinister then these TWITCHES I have been worried about 4 months almost now. (which first onset was 18 months ago).When I have to sit there and look @ my leg in a certain way..to see it...or bend it a certain way to see it..THATS JUST TO MUCH and that right there should be reassuring...I see the indention on the other side of my leg as well, BUT..its no where near as prominent. :sick: I love your PERSONALITY..I love your spirit this evening and it is definately INFECTIOUS!!!Dee Dee :sick:
 
Get it together P&H...you have to be strong for that baby =0 I hate to tell you but you have LOTS of dents....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! But its normal. Now get back to enjoying your last few nights of sleep....mwah ha ha ha ha! (said in a scary tone). Sean B.
 

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