Hi guys. So today I have been officially twitching for two years from the first day I noticed it. My hand and my eye started twitching. i can remeber lying in bed and feeling the pop pop pop on my leg too...twitching, but at the time i didn't realize it.
And then I remember googling muscle twitching. The devil broke loose that day. I fell into a dark depression in april of 05. I was suicidal, fearful, couldn't sleep...it was hades. The mental anguish was so horrible. i would look at my children and just know that I wouldn't see them grow up. I couldn't find any hope. I remember praying and praying and yet little relief came. The darkest days I have personally ever known.
In late April a neuro told me this wasn't a mnd but that I would "know for sure" in a few months. he said he had to tell me this cover his butt but that he was sure it wasn't als. I latched onto the "few months" part of that and kept worrying and worrying.
This board really helped me and so many of you have come to my rescue and I love you for that. Basso who grounded me and told me my life wasn't about this crap...not about statistics - I was unique and part of something much larger. Ginny who saved me in the beginning...Bill who even to this day reaches out to me on my bad days. And many many many others who have been so kind in helping me - thank you all and forgive me if I didn't name your name.
If you are new in this journey realize that it might really not be als or anything that will quickly take your life. I COULD NOT believe that and, even to this day, still cannot 100% accept it. I look at my calves rumbling and moving and twitching and think, I'm freakin dead. Each night there is no peace. Pop pop pop all over the place till I want to scream or cry or something...no peace.
All of that said, I am alive and, apart from the years lost worrying, perfectly fine. I work out and do everything I did 2 years ago with ease.
In 2 years I have only seen one person come to this board and be dxed with als and she had very serious weakness including foot drop. If you're here there is a good chance you are okay - a 99.9% chance. If at all possible, please learn from me...don't torture yourself. I know it's frightening and weird but it can be absolutely nothing. To all beginning this long walk, just hang in there...you'll be okay.
Mark
And then I remember googling muscle twitching. The devil broke loose that day. I fell into a dark depression in april of 05. I was suicidal, fearful, couldn't sleep...it was hades. The mental anguish was so horrible. i would look at my children and just know that I wouldn't see them grow up. I couldn't find any hope. I remember praying and praying and yet little relief came. The darkest days I have personally ever known.
In late April a neuro told me this wasn't a mnd but that I would "know for sure" in a few months. he said he had to tell me this cover his butt but that he was sure it wasn't als. I latched onto the "few months" part of that and kept worrying and worrying.
This board really helped me and so many of you have come to my rescue and I love you for that. Basso who grounded me and told me my life wasn't about this crap...not about statistics - I was unique and part of something much larger. Ginny who saved me in the beginning...Bill who even to this day reaches out to me on my bad days. And many many many others who have been so kind in helping me - thank you all and forgive me if I didn't name your name.
If you are new in this journey realize that it might really not be als or anything that will quickly take your life. I COULD NOT believe that and, even to this day, still cannot 100% accept it. I look at my calves rumbling and moving and twitching and think, I'm freakin dead. Each night there is no peace. Pop pop pop all over the place till I want to scream or cry or something...no peace.
All of that said, I am alive and, apart from the years lost worrying, perfectly fine. I work out and do everything I did 2 years ago with ease.
In 2 years I have only seen one person come to this board and be dxed with als and she had very serious weakness including foot drop. If you're here there is a good chance you are okay - a 99.9% chance. If at all possible, please learn from me...don't torture yourself. I know it's frightening and weird but it can be absolutely nothing. To all beginning this long walk, just hang in there...you'll be okay.
Mark
