Facing Imminent Death: Reflections

I know where you are coming from and not too long ago I was sitting on my patio thinking about how much better things were last year before all of this started and how I didn't appreciate the simplicity of "sitting still". Anyway, I hit bottom and then I started to think about people I know who are dying and I mean death is imminent. They don't waste one second worrying about what comes next because now is what matters. I realized that I needed to do the same thing. Roger is right sometimes you need someone to talk to who is not there to offer platitudes but is just there to let you get it all out.

My favorite quote that I kept repeating was:
To eliminate fear, worry and anxiety, I must live in the present and let go and let God.

Trust me I am a control freak and this condition messes with that the most ...heck I can't even keep my muscles still when I try, nor can I predict where I'll twitch next...if that isn't a "lesson" in learning I am definitely not in control, I don't know what is.

You've hit bottom, there's only up now. If you need a therapist, get a therapist. If you need a med to take the edge off, take the med. But in this one instance, you have the power to make you life bearable or unbearable. I hope you find you way through this...I know you will.
Love,
Kit

All I can say is there are good days where I don't pay much attention to the twitching and bad days where I notice every twitch and get "near-cramps" in my thighs that I'm sure is leading to something bad. It may sound like a cliche but the difference between the two days is keeping busy and not obsessing. A jam-packed day at work or running from one family event to another actually distracts me from the twitches and pain. The worst days are when I'm flying a long distance or trapped in a boring meeting. Then I start obsessing about the symptoms.

So my recommendation is to keep active with what you like, while recognizing that there absolutely will be bad days, and you just have to work through them.